I was walking through the busy street of Chabahil chowk when I saw a flag that looked like the pride flag, I stared at it for a certain amount of time and suddenly my low-looking expression and thoughts changed to a happy one. I lost track and suddenly stumbled upon a man.
“Ma’am, look while you’re going please”, the man I stumbled upon said.
Ma’am I felt uneasy.
I entered a small road and walked my way to a panipuri shop and ordered a plate of panipuri for myself. After paying, I started walking back. It feels so wrong to be myself in this place, I know it isn't but looking at all the homophobes trying to hate on us every single second feels so disgusting. Sometimes I just want to end myself. Since the day I realized I wasn't a cishet, all I feel is “guilt”. And I feel extra guilty about the fact that I have to hide this from everyone related to me, which isn't my fault but…
I entered inside my house with a sigh and mamu asked, “So, did you eat panipuri?”, I nodded yes. I sensed her looking at my face trying to read it so she asked if I was doing okay. Mamu, how I wish I could share this to you, but I just can't, I thought. I assured her that everything was alright and went towards my room. I sighed thinking about how I might have to wake up till midnight to complete my assignments again. I went back to the same old corner to do my assignments and turned on music. Soon I found myself vibing with the music and doing my homework, and it was already 12:30. So I decided to complete it tomorrow, then I checked my phone to see my best friend, Sumi. I replied to her messages and then I found a video from the pride parade on my feed. At first, I was so happy to learn about the fact that even Nepal has pride parades, I was happy looking at the faces of the people in the video, they deserved it. But the feeling of not being able to see myself in that position made me feel low, it made me feel that I would never be able to be a part of it, how I will never be able to come out to my parents and even if I did I would definitely get disowned. I shared everything with Sumi and she replied, “You know, it’s okay!! I don't know anything else but just know that I am here for you, okay?”. I smiled at her texts.
The next morning I went to my school hoping it would be a good day but I got pointed out for dressing too masculine and that I should be more feminine, dress and behave like a girl. One of my classmates even called me a slur under her breath which I caught and I couldn’t even see anything due to the anger that had risen inside me. But I could speak nothing. I was scared.
That day I went back home with angry tears that soon led to me falling asleep. And when I woke up it was already past midnight so I went towards the door to unlock it. I felt so disturbed, I felt like I couldn’t do anything. Being a teen queer in Nepal is such a difficult thing, I can’t come out to anyone due to which I cannot live freely. The only thing I want to hear is someone being proud of me and it seems so difficult to hear from someone else. I sometimes wish to be someone else. It feels happy whenever someone tells me that they understand what I’m feeling, but honestly it is such a hard thing to get. Although it feels so good being a part of such an amazing community but sometimes, being a part of a closeted LGBTQ+ community to me also is a constant reminder of the possibilities of not getting accepted by the close ones in my life. The thought of always being proved wrong even when you know you are right is a different wave of misery. Whenever I talk to my parents about the community I always have the urge to blurt out, “What if I was a part of the community?” and/or “What if i came out as Lesbian/Queer?”. It scares me that if I don't label myself people might think I am faking it, when in actual I am not. The sharp feeling you get whenever you can not raise your voice when needed and be quiet is so unexplainable to me. I cried my heart out. And this was the first time I've ever felt so guilty about it.
I might have fallen asleep after that because I remember nothing else, it was already 6:30 so I heard my mom shout from downstairs. I stood up straight immediately after I heard her call me for the third time. I went downstairs after thinking how some people would never understand how hard it actually is, how hard it is to finally come to terms with your sexuality and gender identity, cry whenever this topic is brought up, denying who we are for years or months and always having feelings invalidated…
हामीले आफ्नो वातावरण स्वच्छ र सफा राख्नुपर्छ । हाम्रो वातावरण फोहाेर भयो भने प्रदूषण हुन सक्छ । प्रदूषण भयो भने हामीलाई त्यही प्रदूषणबाट रोग लाग्न सक्छ । हामीले जथाभावी ठाउँमा फोहाेर नफालेर प्रदूषण कम गर्न सक्छाैँ । प्रदूषण हुनुको सबैभन्दा ठुलो कारण मान्छे नै हाे । जथाभावी ठाउँमा मानिसहरूले फोहाेर फालेकै कारण विभिन्न राेगहरू फैलिँदै गइरहेका छन् । हाम्राे देशका मुख्य सहरहरूमा त झन् ठाउँ ठाउँमा फोहाेर थुप्रिएको हुन्छ । मानिसहरू यसकाे जिम्मेवार काेही पनि हुँदैनन् । प्रदूषण पनि धेरै किसिमका हुन्छन् । वायु प्रदूषण,वातावरण प्रदूषण्, जल प्रदूषण आदि । वातावरणमा हुने प्रदूषणलाई वातावरण प्रदूषण भनिन्छ । मानिसहरूको लापरवाहीले गर्दा पनि वातावरण प्रदूषण भइरहेको छ । हामीले वातावरण प्रदूषण हुन नदिनकाे लागि ठाउँठाउँमा डस्टबिन राख्नुपर्छ । जथाभावी ठाउँमा फोहाेर फालेमा जरिवाना तिराउनुपर्छ । ठाउँठाउँमा शाैचालय बनाउनुपर्छ । हामीले यस्तो गर्न सक्याैँ भने वतावरण प्रदूषण हुँदैन । गाडीहरूबाट आउने धुँवा, धुलाे र कलकारखानाबाट आउने धुँवा तथा प्लास्टिक, जलाउँदा आउने धुँवाले हाम्रो वायुलाई प्रदूषण गरिरहेकाे हुन्छ । नेपालमा भएका कलकारखानाहरूबाट पनि धेरै रसायनको धुँवा वायुमा मिसिन्छ र वायु प्रदूषण हुन्छ । आजकाल नेपालमा गाडीहरूकाे सङ्ख्या बढ्दै गइरहेका छन् । जसले गर्दा पनि वायु प्रदूषण भइरहेको छ । हामीले यस्ता पेट्रोल र डिजेलबाट चल्ने गाडीहरू कम गर्नुपर्छ । हामीले यस्ता पेट्रोल र डिजेलबाट चल्ने गाडीकाे सट्टा बिजुलीबाट चल्ने गाडीको प्रयोग गर्याैँ भने वायु प्रदूषण धेरै कम हुन्छ । जल प्रदूषण पनि नेपालको एकदम ठुलो समस्या हो । यसै गरी हाम्रा नदीनालाहरू फाेहाेर हुँदै गइरहेका छन् । यसतर्फ सबै सचेत हुनु जरुरी छ ।
There was a time, where most of the people used to bully, hate, insult, feel disgust of that person who also had been mentally tortured just being a person of the LGBTQ+. The person was called by Thomas. He only used to live with his grandmother. Thomas was a very quiet, innocent, insecure and a sensitive person. Not only at school but also at home, he used to get judged by society.. He used to be bullied for not being a normal person (for being gay), being called characterless, sutpid, uneducated. It made him sad to be living in a suffocating environment. One day, some of the students at school poured water on him and he got soaked. He complained to the principal about all the things that happened to him. But, when he thought this would help him he received more hate from the principal. He said “You’re obviously a characterless person, who only deserves to get hate!” He made a disgusted face which made Thomas leave the principal’s cabin, sobbing. He didn’t care about anything he ran straight home. He reached home in a mess, told everything that happened to him. His grandmother felt really bad for him. She tried to convince him. But nothing made him happy. So, she tried to leave him alone. After some days, he was in his room alone, he didn’t go school for some days because he knew what would happen if he went to school people would make fun of him. Thomas and his grandmother talked a while and it made him feel better so he decided to go to school.
The next day, when he reached school he saw someone making his pictures with obscure and vulgar drawings and writings made on it. He felt horrible but he tried to ignore it. In class, no one agreed to sit with him but there was a girl named Sophie. She was kind, gentle, loving, and understanding. She called Thomas to sit with her. “ She seemed to be a new student”. He said to himself. She understood his situation. Days passed, Thomas and Sophie were very comfortable with each other, he used to share his hardships and as usual people kept bullying him. She felt really bad for him but she made him forget about his past. He felt like a normal person, she stopped people from bullying Thomas. Thomas was now a cheerful, happy person. But still some people hated him. When Sophie was absent people bullied Thomas. He got beaten. Next day, Sophie noticed something on Thomas' face, she saw the bruise. She decided to take help from her uncle who works as a reporter and his support from his company. She told everything about Thomas. Her uncle was a good person. One day, he and his team went to the school to find out what happened to Thomas. He explained everything about himself. They took an interview with him and posted it online. Many of the people felt bad for him. There were soft comments, and soon the video went viral. He had begun to get love and affection from people all over the world. At school, the video also went viral and many students saw it. They soon regretted what they did. Guilt filled their consciousness. They decided to apologize to Thomas, they realizd how wrong and homophobic they were, towards someone for just existing. Thomas accepted the apology because anyone would if someone was in his place, after all Thomas was a kind person.
Thomas felt better and actually liked going to school. All because he had the support of his friend. This goes to show how support is essential.
It was a long day. Sushmita was tired and while she was returning home she heard some women shouting and gathering. There was a small crowd and two men were standing in the middle, their heads down as if they did something wrong and were embarrassed. She asked a women standing next to her about the context and she replied “They are gay and these kind of people are not acceptable”. The boys were gay couple and they loved each other alot. They lived in the same neighborhood. They were caught red handed by their parents in a room. Afterwards the whole neighborhood got to know about the issue and gathered there. Some were telling them that they should be punished, everyone in the crowd was thinking about punishing them. Even their own parents didn't want to see their faces. A loud voice from the crowd said, “I suggest that these boys must be kicked out from the house and also from society”. “They are not acceptable, we won't accept them like this, these types of people are a big black spot or the black sheep of society”. The boys were scared and they were begging not to kick them out. One of the boys said “It is not our mistake that we are like this. We are just biologically some what different from others but we are also humans, we have our rights, you all cannot just kick us out just because we are gay, we have accepted ourselves and our society must too.” The crowd was silent for a moment but they again repeated the same thing that the boys must be kicked out and be boycotted from the society. Sushmita was all against it. She felt very sad for the boys. She kept on walking. She didn't wait there for the conclusion as she had a headache after listening to the nonsense thinking about LGBTQI+ people.
Sushmita supported LGBTQI+ community as she was also one of them. Sushmita was a lesbian which no one knew about. Sushmita could not expose herself because she knew what kind of behavior or what kind of response she would get from the society and parents. She knew that she should come out because her parents were forcing her to marry. That day while returning home she felt very scared and she had a heavy heart. While in office she thought that she will tell the truth about her being a lesbian to her parents. But after recalling today's incident she was very scared. What if her parents too would kick her out of the house? Her parents were also like other parents. They did not support the LGBTQI+ community. She reached her home, she was lost in her own thoughts. Her mother Shanti asked why she was late. Her father Hariram had also returned from office. Sushmita did not reply, she went to her room to freshen up until then her mother cooked dinner and called her for it. Things were running around her head, she was remembering an event that happened. Hariram asked her “Are you okay? You seem a bit upset.?” Suhsmita explained about the thing that happened while she was returning about the boys turning out to be a gay, the society not accepting them and kicking them out. Her father made a serious face and said “What the boys did was wrong, the society is right, these kind of people spread negative effects on people. They should surely be boycotted from society. I don't like these kinds of people and don't want to talk about them.” After hearing that, Sushmita’s heart broke. She was very sad. That night she didn't sleep. She was thinking about how to come out. She knew that society would not accept her nor her parents would. She felt very helpless. She started being very quiet. She didn't talk to her parents much. She felt alone. Her parents on the other hand were searching for a good family and a groom for her daughter. She was very angry and scared when her parents were forcing her to marry. She scolded and screamed at them. At night the whole family was quiet and no one came for dinner. Sushmita had now started to hate herself. She blamed herself for being a lesbian. She was slowly going into depression knowing that neither her parents would accept her as this. She didn't have a quiet nice relation with her parents after that night. She was totally depressed by now. Sushmita had a lot of pain in her heart but had no one to pour it on. She had heard about a therapist who was a good counselor too. Sushmita had heard about Ranisha from her friends. She went to her clinic. She told every thing whatever she was feeling and she also shared about her sexuality. Doctor Ranisha was not shocked as she heard of her being a lesbian. She was a very beautiful and calm woman. After hearing Sushmita's story she felt very sorry for her, knowing that she didn't have any friends. After working, Sushmita always visited her clinic. They spent time together. They watched movies and went out sometimes. Ranisha was not only her counselor or doctor she was her best friend. Sushmita's condition was now improving. She had started talking to her parents and she also had mentioned about her new friend Ranisha. Hariram and Shanti were happy that her daughter was back to normal and she had a friend. Her parents had again started to search for a groom. One night Sushmita was at Ranisha’s house. They were watching a movie. Suddenly Ranisha grabbed hold of Sushmita’s hand and she said that she had something important to say. Ranisha confided in her that she too was a lesbian and and she had feelings for her. Ranisha came out to her family and got kicked out. No one supported her. Sushmita was very shocked and was kind of happy. They both had feelings for each other and they were in a secret relationship. They were very happy with each other. Ranisha motivated Sushmita to tell the truth to her parents and after that they would marry and live happily.
Sushmita gathered courage and went to her home. She told her parents that she wanted to tell them something very important. They sat together in a living room. Sushmita told the truth that she was not interested in men, she didn't want to marry men because she liked women as she was a lesbian and she loved Ranisha, who was also a lesbian and how they were in a relationship. Hearing that her parents were out of their mind. They scolded her. Shanti beat her. She tried to explain that it's nothing wrong to be like that. But her parents were very upset. They were not ready to accept the fact that their daughter was a lesbian. Her parents had a good reputation and respect in the society. They didn't want to make their reputation down so they were very scared about the fact that the society will know their daughter was a lesbian and they too would be boycotted. They both scolded their daughter even blackmailed her to marry a man and live a normal life and they did not care if she was lesbian or not. They cared about society more than her daughter's happiness. They fixed her marriage with a renewed businessperson’s son. Her parents locked her in a room and told her not to come out until her marriage. But she somehow made a way to contact Ranisha. When her parents were not in the house she wrote a letter mentioning that she was leaving everything behind and absolutely would not marry a man. She loves herself as she is. She loves Ranisha and wouldn’t change anything for society. She wrote “My parents cared about society more than me. Even my parents are not ready to accept me as I am just because of this society so I am going very far from my so-called home. I love you mom and dad. Sorry for not making you proud and happy.” Sushmita ran out of the house. After her parents returned they found the letter, they were quite angry but also ashamed. They were searching for her. Both the girls left that locality and had gone very far away to a new place to start their new life together. They promised to never leave each other and forget their past. They went to a place where the people LGBTQI+ were treated like normal human beings, where there was no discriminations and there was only love between people.
They started a new journey together.
मेरो चाहना छ डाक्टर बन्ने,
डाक्टर बन्न मैले धेरै पढ्ने,
डाक्टर बनी बिरामीको सेवा गर्ने,
चाहना हो मेरो समाजसेवा गर्ने ।
सफल डाक्टर म अवश्य बन्नेछु ;
सफल हुन म श्रम गर्ने छु।
जसरी नि म डाक्टर बन्ने छु,
हट्ने छैन पछाडि अघि बढ्ने छु।
सानैदेखि मेरो एउटा छ है इच्छा ,
बिरामीको सेवा गर्ने मेरो छ इच्छा,
इच्छा पूरा गर्न लिन लिनुपर्छ शिक्षा
राम्रो शिक्षा लिएर बन्नेछु म डाक्टर।
मेरो बुबा जस्तै म डाक्टर बन्नेछु ;
हट्ने छैन पछाडि अघि बढ्ने छु।
दु:ख कस्ट गरी म मिहिनेत गर्नेछु;
आशा छ एक दिन म डाक्टर बन्ने छु।
Kriti felt trapped in her school and even at her house she couldn’t be herself. She had kept this facade of being the “perfect” daughter and student in front of others. She lived in Nepal where she couldn’t express herself. She had this diary where she kept all of her secrets. The only thing she didn’t realize was that her mother occasionally read her diary.
One day after returning home from school she caught her mother reading her diary. She realized that her mother knew she was a lesbian. Kriti wasn’t ready to come out yet. She needed more time and finding out that her mother secretly read her diary made her feel less validated. She wasn’t ready to talk about being a lesbian yet. She decided to leave the house without her mother knowing she had caught her. She only came back in the evening pretending nothing happened and her mother did the same. Together all of them ate dinner and even laughed. Later at night, Kriti cried alone in her bed wondering if her dad knew and maybe even hated her. What if her mother also hated her? What if she was just waiting for Kriti to come out to kick her out of the house? This thought scared Kriti. She tried her best to sleep but couldn’t. At around 12:00 am, Kriti overheard her parents talking about her. She only heard her name and got curious about what they were talking about.
“I don’t think she’s ready yet,” said her mother.
“That’s fine she can take her time, she will eventually tell us,” Kriti’s father replied.
The conversation continued and the more she heard she realized that her parents supported her and were fine with her taking her time. She still didn’t like the fact that her mother read her diary as it made her feel like her coming out wasn’t relevant anymore. She decided to confront her parents after a few days, after she prepared herself. She talked to her girlfriend about coming out. Her girlfriend was very supportive of this decision and even offered to go with her.
So, on a Thursday evening she finally came out to her parents officially and even introduced her girlfriend. She also confronted them about how they read her diary and how that made her feel. They looked at her with a sorry expression and apologized. They realized their mistake. Kriti forgave them after a few days.
After coming out Kriti didn’t feel like she HAD to be perfect. She could be herself more. It wasn’t easy to stop pretending at first but soon she started living her life to the fullest. She came out her own time, in a way. Though things don’t always go as planned we can always turn things the way we want it.
हाम्रो देशका नेताहरू कति धेरै बाठा
जनता भने यिनका कुरा पत्याउने लाटा ,
असल नेता छैनन् कोही यहाँ
सोझा जनतालाई लगाई सके पाखा ।
अचम्मको रैछ यो राजनीति
नेताहरू सत्तामा नै मस्त ,
पिर व्यथा जनताका बुझ्ने होइन
कस्तो होला नेपालको राजनीति ?
सबै नेता कुरा ठुला-ठुला गर्छन् ।
देशको कुनै चिन्ता छैन,
जनताको के काे चिन्ता छैन
पैसा भएपछि आफन्त नि भुल्छन् ।
अचम्मको रैछ यो
राजनीतिको खेल,
गर्न जानेका छन् जालझेल
आफ्ना लागि खेल्छन् ठुलो खेल ।
निर्मला जोशी आफ्नो घरको कौसीमा बसेर साग केलाउँदै थिई । उसकाे छोरा सुरेश र बुहारी रमिला दुवै आआफ्ना काम र जागिरमा गएका थिए । उसकी नातिनी सुबेक्षा कलेज गएकी थिई । सुबेक्षा ११ कक्षामा पढ्थी । ऊ आफ्नी हजुरआमालाई असाध्यै माया गर्थी । साँझको समय थियो । निर्मला घरमा एक्लै थिई । ऊ सब्जी केलाउँदा केलाउँदै गम्भीर सोचमा पर्न थाली । ऊ अहिले ७० वर्षकी भैसकेकी थिई । उसलाई बुढेसकाल पनि लागिसकेको थियो । भन्छन् नि बुढेसकाल लागेपछि मान्छेलाई आफ्नो जीवनकालको घटनाहरू स्मरण हुन्छ । उसलाई पनि आफ्नो बाल्यकालको सम्झना आउन थाल्यो ।
ऊ जब १० वर्षकी थिई तब उसले आफ्नो घरको पुरै जिम्मेवारी लिनु परेको थियो । उसको बुबा ताप्लेजुङ्ग जिल्लाको थुम्बेदिनमा रहेको एक सरकारी विद्यालयमा ‘हेड मास्टर’ थिए । उसका एक दाजु र दुई बहिनीहरू पनि थिए । उसको दाजु ऊभन्दा ३ बर्षले जेठा थिए । उसकी आमाको बिहे १५ वर्षको उमेरमा भएको थियो । त्यसैले होला उसका दाजु बहिनीहरू पनि धेरै नै थिए । उसकी आमा फेरि सुत्केरी भएकी थिईन् । उनी बिरामी भएर लखतरान अवस्थामा लडिरहेकी थिईन् । त्यसबेला उसले आफ्नो परिवारको रेखदेख गर्नुका साथै विद्यालय गएर पढ्नु पनि पर्थ्यो । उहिले निर्मला सानी हुँदा, घरका काम पुरुषहरूले गर्दैनथे । त्यसैले उसका दाजुले पनि उसलाई सहयोग गर्दैनथे । विद्यालयकाे आफ्नाे कामका साथसाथै बहिनीहरू पनि अलिक सानै भएर होला उसले एक्लैले घरकाे सबै कम गर्नुपर्थ्याे । विद्यालय पुग्न करिब २ घण्टा डाँडाकाँडा हुँदै हिड्नु पर्थ्यो ।
ऊ करिब २२ वर्षकी हुँदा उसले तराई क्षेत्रमा बस्ने ठिटो जयदेवसँग आफ्ना बुबाआमाको सल्लाहअनुसार विवाह गरेकी थिई । उसलाई याद छ, विवाहको दिन उसका साथीहरूले उसलाई खुब जिस्काएका थिए । विवाह भव्य रूपमा सम्पन्न भएको थियो । उसले विवाह गर्नुभन्दा पहिले आफ्नो पढाइ सकेकी थिइन । विवाहपछि पनि उसलाई आफ्नो शिक्षा आर्जन गर्ने सपना पूरा गर्न मन थियो । उसले आफ्नो यो चाहाना आफ्नो श्रीमान् जयदेवलाई पनि सुनाएकी थिई । जयदेवलाई उसको यो सपनाबाट केही समस्या थिएन । जयदेवका मातापिताले पनि उसलाई पढाइबाट वञ्चित गर्न चाहेनन् । जब उनीहरूले पढ्नका लागि निर्मला काठमाडौँ जानुपर्छ भनेर थाहा पाए, तब उनीहरू उसलाई एक्लै पठाउन चाहेनन् । त्यही पनि निर्मला, जयदेवका मातापिताकाे असहमतिमा पनि ऊ आफ्नो पढाइ पूरा गर्न काठमाडौँको आई ।
निर्मला काठमाडौँबाट फर्केको दिन हरेक पल्ट जयदेवका मातापिताले उसको खुब कुरा काट्थे । भन्थे, “यो काठमाडौँ एक्लै बस्छे, कोसँग बस्छे कुन्नि ! कतै अर्कै केटासँग लागेर लाजमर्दो भएर त हिँड्दिन ?” यस्ता कुरा सुन्दासुन्दै जसोतसो गरेर निर्मलाले स्नातक उत्तीर्ण गरी र तराई फर्की । ऊ घर फर्केपछि उसले जागिर खाने विचार गरी । त्यतिबेला उनीहरूको घरको आर्थिक स्थिति त्यति राम्रो थिएन ।
जागिर खोज्ने क्रममा ऊ गर्भवती भई र उसले घरमै बस्नु पर्ने भयो । समय बित्दै गयो । गर्भवती निर्मलालाई गर्भवती भए पनि घरको सबैजसाे काम गर्न लगाइयो । त्यति मात्र कहाँ हो र जयदेवका मातापिताले निर्मलालाई यातना दिन थाले । गर्भवती महिलालाई किचकिच गरेर सबै काम लगाएर मानसिक तनाव दिन्थे । निर्मलाले हरेक कुरा सहेर सुरेशलाई जन्म दिइन् । सुरेश जन्मिएको १ वर्षपछि उसले जागिरको लागि काठमाडौँ जानु पर्ने भयो । उसले जागिरका लागि ६ महिना तालिम गर्नुपर्थ्याे । जब निर्मलाले आफ्नो छोरालाई जयदेवका आमाबुबालाई जिम्मा दिएर काठमाडौँ हिँड्न लागेकी थिई तब उनीहरूले भनेका थिए, “हाम्रो बुढेसकालमा जति खेर पनि काम लगाएकी छे । कहिले पढ्न काठमाडौँ जान्छु भन्छे; कहिले जागिरका लागि । हैन, तेरो काठमाडौँमा चाहिँ को छ र तेरो ? हामी तेरो छोरालाई पाल्न सक्दैनौँ । जाने भए तेरो छोरालाई पनि लिएर जा!” त्यसो भनेको जयदेवले पनि सुनेको थियो । उसलाई आफ्नै मातापिताकाे यस्ताे व्यवहार देखेर अचम्म लाग्याे । उहाँहरूले निर्मलालाई त बुहारी हो भनेर गाली गर्नुहुन्थ्यो र जयदेव केही बोल्न सक्दैनथ्यो । तर आफ्नै नातिलाई कसैले यस्ताे गर्छ र ? जयदेवलाई साह्रै रिस उठ्यो । उसले सुरेश र निर्मलालाई लिएर आँफूसँग भएकाे जति पैसा बोकेर घर छाडेर काठमाडौँतिर लाग्यो।
निर्मला आफ्नो सम्झनाबाट फर्किई र ऊ यति एकोहोरिएकी थिई कि उसलाई आफ्ना आखाँबाट आँसु झरेको थाहा पनि भएन । उसलाई अझै याद छ, ऊ र जयदेवले काठमाडौँमा आफ्नो घर बनाउन र सुरेशलाई हुर्काउन गरेको सङ्घर्ष । निर्मलाले आफ्नो जीवनमा यति भोगेकी थिई कि उसले आफ्नी बुहारीलाई आफ्नै छोरीझैँ व्यवहार गर्थी । निर्मलाले आफ्नी बुहारीलाई धेरै माया गर्थी । जयदेव आफ्ना मातापितालाई सधैँ याद गर्थ्यो तर उसले आँफू कहिले पनि उहाँहरूलाई भेट्न जाने कुरा गरेन । १० वर्ष भैसकेको छ अहिले जयदेवको निधन भएको । निर्मला सधैँ यसरी नै जीवनको सम्झनामा डुबिरहन्छे ।
Economy directly relates to wealth, finance and money. An economy is the system by which a country's or region's finance, industry, and commerce are structured. Development is the most important term that a country can use to move further. And, for developing countries, the economy is the most important part. If a country’s economy is weak, that means there is less development. In order to develop the country in the proper manner and pace the country should be in a good economical state . A good economical state can be procured by having an increase in the size of the workforce and an increase in productivity.
So, economic development refers to plans, policies, and actions aimed at improving a country's economic well-being and standard of living. Growth in the gross domestic product shortly known as GDP or another measure of net profits is frequently used to measure it. When a country begins to generate more products and grow its overall wealth, it is said to be developing economically. An economic developer is in thought of planning, designing, and implementing economic development programmes, as well as operating as a vital medium between the public and private sectors and the society. Economic management also relates to economic development. It hugely affects the economy and economical development directly or indirectly. If management is not proper, there will be an economical crisis. As for the economic crisis we all know what Sri Lanka went through. Sri Lanka was on the top of the list in South Asian HDI (Human Development Index) of 2020. So, how did this happen all of a sudden? How a financially stable and well developing country’s economy suddenly crashed. According to economists, successive administration's economic mismanagement damaged Sri Lanka's public finances, resulting in national expenditure exceeding income and insufficient production of trade products and services. So, is Nepal financially stable and will it be good for the future? The simple and short answer is no. Nepal’s economy hasn’t been any better from the past few years. Nepal has luckily survived the economic crash like Sri Lanka more than once. Nepal is ranked 31st out of 39 Asian countries, with a score that misses the mark of the regional and worldwide averages. Nepal's economic growth rate has slowed significantly in the last five years, from 2017 to 2019. In 2020, the economy entered full downturn, but recovered in 2021. There have been some ongoing development projects in both agricultural and industrial sectors which are helping in the economic growth of our country. Some of them are:
Sikta Irrigation Project,
Nepal has diplomatic relations with foreign countries which helps us by donating in technical and financial fields. And now it seems that Nepal’s government has taken several steps to avoid that kind of situation.
References:
11th May, 2022, https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2022/5/11/how-sri-lanka-spiralled-into-crisis-and-what-happens-next
संसारभन्दा माथि
हुन्छन् हाम्रा साथी;
माया लाछ साथीको
सबैभन्दा माथिकाे ।
किनकि,
बुझ्ने हुन्छन् साथी नै
हाम्रो खुसीलाई
हाम्रो मनलाई
हाम्रो तनलाई
हाम्रो दुःखलाई
हाम्रो सुखलाई ।
यदि,
हामी किताब हौँ भने
साथीहरू पढ्छन् हामीलाई
हामी शीर्षक हौँ भने
लेख्छन् हामीलाई ।
बुझ्छन् हामीलाई
सुन्छन् हामीलाई
बनाउँछन् हामीलाई
सुनाउँछन् हामीलाई ।
त्यसैले,
संसारभन्दा धेरै
पारवारभन्दा धेरै
सबैभन्दा धेरै
माया लाग्दो रैछ साथीको
आफैँभन्दा माथिकाे ।
Depression isn’t just being sad. It’s the constant feeling of sadness, feeling like you don’t have interest in anything anymore or losing interest in everything you used to love and made you happy. Feeling like finding a purpose in your life but also tired of everything. Some days are worse than the others and some better, but the sadness doesn’t stop. It finds its way back to any memory. As one of my teachers said, our generation understands health in two ways, mental health and physical health. Whereas the older generations rarely spoke about it. There can be lots of reasons for depression, it’s not the same for every person.
Someone might be depressed because they don't feel worthy of something or due to the death of a loved one. There are so many possibilities that cannot be included. It can be something no one has heard before or very common. I know this has become a common topic for everyone now. A common topic to talk about. But honestly, it’s not enough. The elders still haven’t understood about it, they don’t care about mental health. Only your physical health. My goal for this article is that everyone reaches it and starts understanding how important taking care of your mental health is. If you feel like you do have depression make sure to get diagnosed by a doctor, same with any mental illnesses such as social anxiety. Depression is not a joke, here are some sentences you should NOT say/do to a sad or depressed person:
“You’re young, you don’t have depression.”
“It’s all in your head.”
“You’re just doing this for attention.”
“Why are you depressed? You’ve got a comfortable life”
While some people do it for attention, the majority are seriously ill and need help. Make sure you think 5 times before sending advice because if they are opening up to you, there are so many things you could say wrong so be careful. Please be empathetic. If they do open up to you and let you know about their problems, tell NO ONE because you might be the only person they’re comfortable enough to open up to. Going to the history side of things, Hippocrates, a Greek physician, is considered the first ever physicist to describe melancholy or depression clinically. He has been known since Antiquity, Hippocrates described it as; "If fear and sadness last a long time, such a state is melancholy," he wrote in his book Aphorisms. Dysfunctional or unhelpful behavior such as depression is learned. Because depression is learned, behavioral psychologists suggest that it can also be unlearned. In the mid-1970s, Peter Lewinsohn argued that depression is caused by a combination of stressors in a person's environment and a lack of personal skills.” It is said. Depression is also known to run in families. It is very little in the early stages. The chromosome 3p25-26 is known as the depression gene, as suggested in the name. Nearly 50% of people that are diagnosed with depression are also diagnosed with anxiety. One more fact about depression is that, CHILDREN ALSO GET DEPRESSED. No one understands this specific topic. “You have nothing to worry about, how can you be depressed? You’re just a kid.” noone wants to hear that, they just need help. Do not say that to any child no matter what or it might cost you a life.
When people ask me, “Do you like math?” I say, “Aghh! NO.” I never liked math since I was young. The main reason? I do not understand it properly, I do not have any interest in it and I never got good marks as well. I always felt bored when I tried to solve the math equations and do any assignment related to it. Whenever I saw the questions I felt that the question was too difficult and I didn’t want to do it, even during exams. Now I am in grade 10. If you give me the question of grade 9 I honestly can't solve it. I never gave any attention in math class. When the teacher asked me if I had understood, I used to say yes but I really didn't understand anything.
Whenever math class starts I feel sleepy. When I tried to solve the equations and couldn’t I got very angry. Math was a nightmare for me. My mom always scolded me for not being able to study properly. My teachers asked me to ask them if I had problems but I was too scared and I really didn't feel like doing it. But now times have changed. My mom called me and told me that she had hired someone to tutor me. At first I was very annoyed. I didn't want to go to tuition. It was my first day there. I was not feeling nice because I didn't want to practice math all the time. My friend who lived near me was poor in math and she had secured good marks in the 9th grade. I was surprised to know that now she liked math and her results were getting better. I asked her how and she replied “You should never think math is hard and I cannot do it, we must try everything even if we don't like it, if we practice we will surely solve the question.” At first I also did not understand math but I tried to solve some problems by asking my teacher and from that day I solved some questions on my own and after those small victories it became interesting. I came home, turned my book but fell asleep. I didn't understand anything. Next day in school I asked my sir about the solution. I found it interesting how the answer came in a simple way. Some kind of interest started developing. Both my school teacher and the tuition teacher taught me in easy ways. Slowly, in school I mustered the courage to ask the teacher about the things I couldn’t understand. My opinion regarding Math started changing. I started being curious. I wanted to solve different math problems. Now every night I practice some math questions everyday. When I am able to solve the given equation, I feel satisfied.
We should never give up on things that we don't like. We must always work hard to make bad things good. If I practice more I think I will be able to do better. I will never stop learning and practicing.
