Every time a new place, an unknown one.
My mind is blank, all my memories gone.
An architecture of stick and stone.
The dimensional rift that is divine.
Oh! It’s the dream lantern that glows and shines.
 
Worse than moths, we’ve become.
To its mystic illumination, we all succumb.
A ship that sails through our lifeless hallucinations.
It’s nothing more than a fragment of our imagination.
Its hold weakens when the time is ripe.
Thud! Dawn breaks, somethings do seem alike.
 
The urge of the lantern leaves some in slumber.
As for our reality is undeniably somber.
For exceptions do exist and they see things through.
Broadminded they are, yet skepticism they brew.
A maze of mismatch, one out of proportion.
Wicked! The mind is, often traps one in commotion.
 
Invisible alarms ring, an insurgency is on the rise.
Now it’s up to you to Lonely dreamer to resist.
Sheer will, focus, and determination, you’ll need to persist.
Hold fast, foster your strengths, maintain a line.
Oh! It’s the dream lantern that glows and shines.
 

Someday I truly wonder
And other I just wonder
How it would be,
To sit under the stars and see
The whole galaxy
And about life, I start to pounder

I know life is just not easy,
And that there’s a lot yet to perceive,
Think, desire, process and achieve
But I know till the end
I’ll hold on even when I’m dizzy.

Even though life shall take a new bend,
For the best, I shall always hope
And with my problem, I shall always cope.
Strong determination will help me fight,
And win the battles with my might.

Forever on the path of right
I shall be guided by my star,
At least I’ll have a par
And I know who wants the light of day,
Must survive the darkness of the night.

Above all, I’ll always take the right path,
And think twice before I act
I’ll never let anything bother,
What I think and what I say
And always shine a hopeful ray.
 

No one is satisfied with what’s going on. We can think past, feel the present, and plan for the future. Past is like a word carved in a stone.it can be remembered but not changed. To date, no such device like the time machine has been invented. A human who has the capacity to discover about the black hole to quantum has to kneel down in front of the past.so I would like to change my past and make it memorable, productive and self-loving.

I can barely recognize my past. School-age, the golden age, was nothing more than a scheduled activity that I was obligated to do. Socializing with friends and colleagues instead of surfing the internet or running eyes on the words would be the prime thing I would have done. Instead of spending 24 hours studying and sleeping, I would make it more lively so that I can count on it in the future. School-age is meant to be a time to relax, make friends, do all those crazy things and make much of it.

Similarly, productiveness along with liveliness seems complicated. The multiple opportunities, I neglected multiple times was one of the biggest mistakes I made. If given the time and opportunity, I would have participated in the beauty pageant, talent show, literature programs and so on. Instead of focusing only on academics and being a bookworm, I would make it productive. I would have built up my confidence. In the crowd of thousands of students, I would make myself recognizable.

Similarly, during my school days, I was judgmental about myself. I was chubby during my lower secondary years so I used to get bullied. After that, I lost about 20 kg by dieting. I avoided everything that I liked to eat . I was so focused on dieting that I ended up losing my originality. I wanted to be someone else instead of being best of myself .if I could change, I would make myself self-loving, self-satisfied and nonjudgmental. I would love myself for who I  really was.

In a nutshell, if the past changed us then we can change the future. Being nostalgic can give happiness to someone while even can open a closed wound. So we must concentrate on our present so that we can mold our future as we wish.

That day I remember
Three months earlier than  December 
I got a new family member 
Who has got great control over his temper?

Beginning with the cozy smile 
I got to know that you are versatile 
Every day with you is a permanent memory  
You care about me, although I'm a tough allergy.

That cute face with a glamour grace 
Polite English with enough space 
Everything changed with the initiation of a new race 
I need no excuses, you are the best.

The charming smile and growing beard
Makes my laziness disappear
Time changed people changed but you are same 
You always motivate me for my aim 

The laughs and joy expressed
I again repeat you are the best
One of the reasons why I come to school?
It's only you Suraj Sir!! 
 

The beginning of manhood can only be seen in man after Bartamandha. It is a complex Hindu ceremony where boys of age between 8-12 years take the first steps in learning the traditional law, ceremonial roles and rituals of their caste. Before the ceremony boys wear traditional orange, headband pierced with a porcupine spice for the protection from evil. In Nepal, one cannot marry unless he has done bartamandha. It is performed by six Brahma priests, though technically two are only required. Red, white and yellow patterns are made around the fire for the protection and to mark an elaborate part setting, indicating where each god should sit as they join the ceremony. Pujas are performed to Ganesh and light and water.

There is a belief that if a guy doesn’t do a bartamandha before marriage, he can never be happy. It is also said that he can never have a baby. As there is a belief that evil roams around their marriage and never lets their marriage be successful. There is also another belief that if a guy doesn’t do bartamandha he is graded as a low caste. Even the high caste once you marry without bartamandha, he becomes untouchable. It is said that their karma will be incomplete and they can never live a normal life (i.e. sad marriage life, regarded as low people, never accepted in a society.)

I always had a question regarding this belief like why do evil surround you if you don’t cut your hair? How is cutting hair related to giving birth? Does the cutting of hair disturb our biological behavior? Why can’t we be called man unless we cut our hair? And why do we have to put a hairtail behind our head? And why only our maternal uncle is related to our karma as karma is related to bartamandha. There are so many ‘wh’ questions in my mind.

When I asked my mother about this tradition, she replied it’s what we’ve been following so many centuries ago. We have no right to question it. Then I asked her many questions then she shouted at me and said it is what it is! We have to follow it. Then I asked my father and then he replied I don’t know anything about it, it’s just that we follow it because everybody does so. And this is what our ancestors have been doing, they have taught us this, so why not. Why take a chance?

Then I realized that we don’t even know what we are doing. Most of us don’t even care and just so because that’s what our ancestors have been doing because that is what everybody is doing. We don’t even question it, because if we do so then we become “the spoiled one”. Everybody goes against us. We follow it out because of fear. We follow it because everybody does so. We are all blinded by our tradition. We should follow our tradition, take it as our pride but we should never be blind. We should question everything and believe only those which are reasonable and believable.

Considering females as impure, Chaupadi pratha is a tradition practiced for centuries that banishes females during their menstruation period from the house. It is primarily practiced in the western part of Nepal. This pratha basically prohibits Hindu women and girls from participating in normal family activities while menstruating. “Untouchability” a tradition it is called, forbidden from touching other people and objects, women and girls are required to live away from the community, typically in a livestock shed, during their menstruation. And their mistake was to be a girl! And go through the biological means following what nature gives was her only mistake.

And when I heard that in some cases women are instructing to live in a separate area of the house. They are forced to live in a mud hut that is hundreds of yards away. I thought it was so unfair. The pain that those young females or women go through, nobody cares about. These women when they were growing, they were told horror stories of how their fathers would become possessed if they stayed in their home during their period. They are not even allowed to touch cattle or crops at such time from fear of harming them. But they were allowed to touch other women. If contact is made with other men, it is said that one must be purified with cow urine.

Women are not even allowed to comb or wash their hair. In some areas, women are not even taught or aware of sanitary towels and so are forced to bare the “condemned” stains on their unwashed clothes. And there are many cases of women dying in this pratha suffering from respiratory diseases, malnutrition, and diarrhea. And mother “a woman” herself pressurizes her daughter to do so. When I heard that I had one question and that is “do my parents think the same way?”

I ran to my parents and asked them, what do you think of this pratha. My parents then replied even science says some negative vibrations do come out when a girl is on her period. And at that point, everybody around her should be supporting her as she suffers from irritation, the pain. I felt so lucky. My mother did say that those are our traditions and we should not allow women to touch god, but I would never be so blinded by our tradition that I would let my daughter suffer alone in the cold outside. Because I know to what extent it’s true but they don’t.

Then I realized, those women who are suffering and following this pratha don’t even know what’s true. They are just misguided by their ancestors. The young girls while growing up listening to their ancestors said they think it's their mistake. They live in fear. They feel so sorry for a natural process, that they can even give their life, even get raped and say nothing while following this pratha. But the government even put a ban on this pratha but will the girls even know that what they are doing is not necessary, it's illogical. No, they’ll not, instead, they will think the government is wrong, and keep on practicing this pratha. So, in order to stop this, we should start by educating them. There are many such kinds of tradition. This is just an example for us to not be blinded by our religions.

Everyone in the world has questioned some belief or an idea. Even I have too. It was about six years ago. It was a visit that planted a belief and a conversation that overturned it. 

One day, I suddenly fell sick. When I woke up in the morning, I felt worse. I slowly sat on my bed and reached for a thermometer on the other side of the bed. I placed it under my tongue and took my reading. I discovered that I had a high fever. I waited for some days but the fever did not go away. This is how ill I was.

My parents, witnessing my prolonged fever decided to take me to the tantric. So I went with my parents to a house where the tantric resided. I saw people waiting to be ‘healed’ by sitting in lines and rows. The tantric who were seated at the far end began performing his rituals by moving his broom around the other person’s head and also made them inhale the smoke of burnt spices. Eventually, my turn arrived and I was performed the same ritual. The rituals and the whole environment gave me a vibe that made me believe I will really be healed by this tantric. Otherwise, why do so many people come here? This is how the belief of magic healing was implanted in my head.

Then it was a conversation with my doctor which overturned this belief of mine. After a certain period of going to the tantric, I had an appointment with my doctor. I waited with my father outside the doctor’s room until a bell rang and I was called to the room. I sat down in front of the doctor while he was inquiring about my health. I replied that I was feeling much better. I also told him about my tantric visit. He said that tantric healing is not scientifically proven, but medicine is. He told me that if I continue taking my medication it will work. He also said that I should not fall into such illusions. 

This is how my belief in magic healing was overturned. Consequently, I began to think rationally about such beliefs. From this incident, I learned that we should not blindly believe in such rituals and traditions. We should move ahead with rational and modern thinking. We should favor facts rather than just beliefs.

When a person is dead, a living one suffers. Post funeral ceremony (kriya karma) existing in our culture is a perfect example of this statement. I have seen people following these traditions since I was young enough to understand stuff but I still see no point in doing those customs. Whenever I ask my parents about these customs they say that it needs to be followed and no one has the answer of why.

One of the things that people do to mourn death is to wear white clothes. We are taught not to judge a book by its cover but people do if we wear colorful clothes to someone’s funeral. It doesn’t matter if we are sad inside, we should look sad outside too. From wearing white clothes for a year to wearing it till 13 days after the death of a person, society has changed. This custom is questionable.

I have heard people dying while strictly following this custom. Since the dead person’s son or wife cannot touch anything or anyone while mourning the death, they cannot let doctors examine them if even if their health is critical. It is a curse to them if their relative has died during the winter season as they do not get to wear warm clothes or hot water to take a bath every early morning till 13 days of their loss. If someone or something mistakenly touches them, they need to restart the customs from the beginning till the next 13 days.

The next thing that people cannot do when their relative has died is not taking certain food. They can have sugar but not salt. They can potatoes but not an onion. They can have fruits but they can’t have tomatoes. They can’t have milk but they can have curd which is made from milk. A person cannot have that food depending upon how close is the relation of that person with the dead person.

I find this Post funeral thing really pointless. Mourning the death of a person should not be a compulsion but a wish. It should be done how we want to do it, not how society wants us to do it. I also think that this ceremony is also a reason for gender discrimination in society. Since a son has to do this ceremony, it is believed that they make their parents happy in heaven while daughters cannot do that. It does not help a person to heal from their sorrowful loss.

My smile is creepy
Because do you ever see it touching my eye?
My laugh is quick and loud 
Do you really think it comes from my heart?

My lips feel so heavy 
When I try to curl it up.
When I see what I wish I would never
My brain automatically blurs it up.

And with the blur comes the worst 
A shooting pain within
Believe me, it hurts
It’s worse than a curse.

Don’t blame me, at least I try
Try to make the smile, laugh, and excitement
As realistic as possible
But while faking it all 
Within I die.

Well, never mind me I am not important to anyone
They don’t see the real me 
I ask it a lot 
Do I myself know the real me?
 

That cold wind of winter
Every time touches my cold body
Freezes my chilled hands and legs
And makes me realize the reason 
Why am I facing such a hard season?

My hands get passed on the road
Don't know how many more nights are left to go
They say that I was thrown
And there's no one here whom I can call my own. 
I still can't accept this fact
How can someone be so harsh 
To give life and leave them to die after sometime? 

Is this only because I was a girl child? 
How can a girl's birth make someone so wild? 
How can even a mother's heart be so cruel? 
Didn't her heart cried throwing her baby on the road?
Why a girl child is not treated equal? 
Why her birth makes everyone celebrate a funeral? 
My thoughts are running as the train out of track
With no destination and hope cracked. 

Do I still have the right to live? 
Suffering from all the discriminations
Will I be able to survive in this crowd? 
Will someone be able to hear my shout? 
I want to live freely
Will I get equal opportunity? 
I need to live to fulfill my dream 
To make everyone hear a girl child's scream. 

That cold wind can freeze my hands and legs
But cannot freeze my heart and brain
I need to be alive to fulfill my dream
I will fight for the right of a girl child to live
And I believe that a day will come
When a girl will be everyone's a matter of pride! 
 

We, humans, are curious in nature. When we hear any extra things, we cannot wait for the moment to listen to the fact and ideas behind it. We people may have some mysterious beliefs or ideas that are heard from our relatives as well as parents too. Among us, I had a superstitious belief when I was about 10 years from my uncle. 

It was the incident of November 23, 2010 A.D. The day when I was born to live a life full of comedy, tragedy, and hope too. Yeah, I think you can guess what that day was about. That was my day, full of elegant and joyful birthday. As I was a kid, fond of playing football and cricket, I couldn't resist myself to be away from that thing that day. I had a great time with my close friend, playing cricket and football. I even scored 3 goals simultaneously i.e a hattrick in football which was one of the marvelous moments of my life. Continuously, half of the whole day was enjoyed with my friends with soccer and cricket, even about to forget that “Today is my birthday”. After remembering my birthday, then, I had my polite invitation to all my close friends who were playing football and cricket. Besides, they had accepted the invitations and made a plan to get a blast on my birthday night. 
Now the main show begins i.e. my birthday night. Me, with a bag in my hands sitting embarrassingly in a chair with the sense of nothing. My friends had just arrived at 8:00 PM. They seemed to be well prepared and managed indeed. Not only this, but I had also seen the picture of mine in their hands and which was my birthday gift. After viewing that picture, I could not control my brain full of emotions. Then, tika time started. Firstly, my parents put the tika on my forehead, full of blessings and most importantly without forgetting to give birthday cash for me. Now comes my uncle. He was a traditional and old-fashioned guy full of old designed gifts for me. After my parents and uncle blessed me, then, there were friends of mine, sitting behind the doors to put tika on my forehead and bless me with advice. Among my 5 friends, 4 of them had only put the tika on me but the left one had refused to do so, pretending to be an atheist. An atheist should not do any kind of work-related to god. Suddenly, I thought that it was not the reason that he hadn’t touched the tika because I have known my friend Aashish B.K, since my childhood. I began to think deeply about what was the reason for that thing. Similarly, after some time, I got to know that my uncle was the reason behind it. As I had said earlier, he was a traditional guy full of traditional beliefs. My guess of the reason was right that he was said not to go near the tika and put that tika on my forehead by my uncle. Even that day was mine, he had ruined all my happiness and joy just in a second. I became too emotional for my friend and began to ask a question of why he did so? He replied in a simple voice, "Because of traditional belief." I laughed, in the meantime, but hurt from inside and said, “I think this is only your tradition. Making my friends apart from me? Is this a tradition? Is this our Nepalese treat when the people of low caste, you think, greet and respect people?.” Wow, what a belief you had. I clapped my hands for a minute. I had my fake nonsense voice on my throat. (Me on my angry mood)Good job uncle, today you made my birthday so special that I couldn’t forget it in my lifetime. Thank you. Then I departed from there.

 I apologized to my friend from my so-called uncle’s side. After an hour, he came for us. I was still nervous and did not want to talk to him either. He was crying, indeed. He apologized to my friend for being so superstitious and old minded towards him that at the moment. He asked me to forgive himself by saying many apologizing words. I was not satisfied though. So, after long hours, my friend was happy, requested me to forgive my uncle because he had already noticed his mistakes and nonsense behavior and vowed.
 

I remember every 5th period of social classes; classes where I could barely see what my teacher was writing on board because I was too bored and sleepy. But I was always excited for unit 3 because it dealt with the issues - alcohol and teens. But since I was a lazy child I never researched marijuana or drugs or alcohol. I just heard my social studies teacher said they are toxic and if you make them your future will collapse. So one day I came across an article on my Instagram stating marijuana is the best medication; even better than aspirin. I was surprised. So I researched and found that marijuana was illegal because I thought if alcohol and cigarettes are legal then why marijuana isn’t despite its wonderful medications?

Today I write this here to examine this problem today by rotary four-way test. Marijuana contains cannabidiol; by itself, it does not cause a “high.” More than 60 percent of CBD users have taken it for anxiety, according to a survey of 5,000 people, conducted by the Brightfield Group, a cannabis market research firm. Chronic pain, insomnia, and depression follow behind. Kim Kardashian West, for example, turned to the product when “freaking out” over the birth of her fourth baby and yet she is so hot. Okay, and if we look towards the history of marijuana, surprisingly, we find that it was US who pressurized us to ban marijuana.  And now USA has legalized marijuana in many states after knowing its medications and poor Nepal is still stuck on the same height. So now if your social studies teacher says that marijuana should be banned then please remind him that alcohol kills 8000 people a year and 4000 people are killed due to cigarettes and 0 people are killed due to marijuana.

Is it the truth? Oh well if marijuana really killed you and collapsed your career then I don’t think “The Next Episode” would be on every thug life posts or “Buffalo Soldier” would be on your playlist and "F.R.I.E.N.D.S" would be your favorite tv show. And neither would Jennifer Aniston still be a model and Snoop Dogg still would be alive.  So I believe living in this century where the sun penetrates their rays to your sparkling life with fewer children and active women participation would really blame marijuana for your failure like people blamed marijuana in the 1930s for their failure

Next, is it fair to all concerned? Obviously not.  It concerns people when someone follows you, pushes you or destroys his or her path. It concerns when you see your society members are being separated emotionally. It concerns when you see your friends or your family getting cancer or serious disease due to marijuana but that’s never gonna happen; because in order to essentially have, hypothetically, a lethal dose for marijuana you need to smoke 40,000 joints in 15 minutes and I don’t think you snoop can do that.  

Will it build goodwill and better friendships? Will is the aspect that comes automatically to you when you have a determination of doing something good, strong and bold enough.  So in order to build goodwill it depends on you and about better friendships or relationships. When I see my friends telling me that he smoked weed I stopped liking him because little was I on this marijuana world. And when my Mumma found out about my friends she suggested me to stay away from him. And then people have trends as in like alcohol which kills people are forced to taste when they were babies in Newar community while marijuana which has less harm is not welcomed in society and neither is it respected. So if weed was legalized then today people wouldn’t have considered marijuana this bad and would have not to scold their child for being a jerk which might have to lead them to depression.

Will it be beneficial to us?  We know that marijuana is the best medication that can be grown in our own nation. So now, since Nepal has a fine climate and fertile land, if we grow marijuana and utilize it well then we shouldn’t beg and plead India neither China. Trust me, Nepal will have the best economic background.

So, therefore, if you are ready to legalize alcohol, legalize tobacco but not marijuana then congratulations for being uneducated and you are ready to take the throne of Nepal and you can earn a lot through taxes of whiskey.