कक्षा दश मेरा लागि नयाँ भए पनि, म सिफल स्कुलकाे पुरानै विद्यार्थी थिएँ । म पुरानै विद्यार्थी भए पनि कक्षा दशकाे पहिलाे दिनमा उत्साह र सकारात्मकता अलि बढी नै थियो ।  झन्डै दुई हप्ता जति मात्र घरमा बसेकाे मैले विद्यालयमा जाँदा धेरै परिवर्तन देखेँ ।  हाम्रो सङ्गीत कक्षा अगाडिको सानो चौर जस्तो ठाउँमा भकुण्डो खेल्ने ठाउँ बनाइएको रहेछ । केही कुराहरूको चिन्ता भइरहेको थियो भने, मनमा कक्षा १० को बाेर्ड परीक्षाकाे दबाब नआउने  कुरै भएन । तर, यसरी विद्यालय जाँदा तेस्रो दिनसम्म मेरा सबै त्रास र चिन्ता हटे ।  
कक्षा सुरु भइसक्याे । बजारमा भने सबै पुस्तक आइसकेका थिएनन् र अब के गरी पढ्ने भन्ने कुरा पनि मनमा आएको थियो । तर, विद्यालय पुग्दा भने कसैसँग पनि पुस्तक सूचीमा भएका सबै पुस्तक नभएको कुरा सुन्दा मेरो मनलाई पनि एक प्रकारले शान्ति मिल्याे ।  कक्षा ९ को नतिजा ठिकै मात्रै आएका कारण मेरो मनमा यसपल्ट भने केही गरेर देखाउँछु भन्ने हौसला थियो । घरमा कक्षा १० मा राम्रो अङ्क आएमा गितार किनिदिने भनेको हुँदा त मेरो परीक्षामा राम्रो गर्ने प्रेरणाले भने मलाई विश्वमा कसैले मेरो गितार लान सक्दैन भने झैँ लाग्यो । पहिलो दिनमा भने खास त्यस्तो केही नभएको हुँदा मेरो मन शान्त नै रहिरह्यो । कक्षा १० मा भने कोही नँया विद्यार्थी साथी नआएको हुँदा मलाई  खास अचम्म लागेन, किनकि अब कक्षा १० मा विद्यालय बदल्न गाह्रो हुन्छ भन्ने कुरा मलाई थाह थियो । पहिलो हप्ता त हामीलाई कक्षा कोठामा के गर्ने र के नगर्ने महत्त्वपूर्ण कुराहरू स्मरण गराइयो । यस्तै अनेकौँ कुराहरूको पुनर स्मरण गराउँदा गराउँदै हाम्रो कक्षा १० को पहिलो साता बित्यो । दोस्रो हप्ताबाट भने झन्डै सबै गुरुहरूले पढाउन सुरु गर्नु भयो जब कि पहिलो हप्ताबाट पनि समय नपुग्ने भएर केही शिक्षकले पाठ्यक्रमअनुसार पढाउन काेर्स अगि बढाउनुभयाे । कक्षा ९ पनि अब माध्यमिक विद्यालय भएकाले उनीहरूसँग हाम्रो अतिरिक्त क्रियाकलाप हुने कुरा मलाई थाहा थियो । तर यो साथै कक्षा ९ मा धेरै विद्यार्थी भएका कारण यस्ता अतिरिक्त क्रियाकलापमा हल्ला धेरै हुने भयो भनेर मेरो मनमा अलिकति छटपटी भइरहेको थियो । गणित  विषय अलि गाह्रो लाग्ने भएका कारण यो वर्ष अरू विषयभन्दा गणितमा अलि राम्ररी ध्यान दिएर राम्रो अङ्क ल्याउने मेरो उद्देश्य थियो ।
कक्षा १० को पहिलो हप्ता भने राम्ररी र सहजै बिते पनि दोस्रो हप्ता देखि चाँहि अलि धेरै काम थुप्रिएको मैले पाएँ । सबै विषयको टन्न टन्न गृहकार्य भएको कारणले दोस्रो हप्ता चाँहि अलि गाह्रो भयो । कक्षा ९ को परीक्षा पछिको बिदामा नलेखेको कारणले होला कलम नै कहिल्यै नसमातेझैँ भयो । र धेरै गृहकार्य गर्न यसले अलि गाह्रो पार्यो । तर दोस्रो हप्ताको अन्त्यसम्म मलाई कलम चलाउने सहज हुँदै गयाे । अहिले निरन्तर मेराे पढाइ चलिरहेकाे छ । 

With the slogan that reads, “Men and women in equality endowed with the same dignity” in every small alleys out there, where the voices are still unheard to the world outside and footsteps are on silent echo which still creates the footprint for society to throw each and every tantrum for women. They face backlash just for being involved in ‘masculine activities’ in reality there should not be any gender barrier division on a platform. Both can have the capability to shine but our society indeed never opened the book where it states that a particular gender has the freedom to reflect on themselves in both femininity and masculinity.

Just like the games and sports of every goal with the blood sweat and tears screams the cheers for wearing the golden and silver. This astonishing platform was only to be taken up by men. Ever since the past till the present to our coming future none of the women are given the opportunities to show what they can do. Maybe there might be fewer platforms opened now for women but still there is no sign of change in opportunities of big sports likely today. With some of the most popular games like soccer that gathers the whole world still don't have women in bigger platforms of bigger gameplay. Even though women's world cup was held back in 2019 the total prize was only worth 30 million dollars where as to exactly talk about the men's world cup the prize was worth 400 million dollars, which in fact still shows how stiff this stereotypical society can bluntly treat different genders when both should be defined by the talented with their skills.

As of now, when many people are bringing this topic to the table, raising their voice for equality and justice, the gender pay gap still arises in many other platforms. Women are still not paid enough in comparison to men and this is really affecting the younger youths because of how society has stated the typical gender difference. So it's time for everyone to unite into one to raise our voice and rights against the inequality in each and every field because one deserves to get paid well enough according to their potential. Sports should be a diverse platform where one can fulfill their wants and passion for the world. And just like that if society is together with great women like Serena Williams, Maria Sharapova, Katie Ledecky who have written their names in history with their great passion for sports, many others like these ladies can come forward and show the world that gender doesn’t determine one’s ability. So, the future is ours, if we do not take charge now then the upcoming generation can no longer see the brighter change for gender equality. In this world where history can write thousands of letters with your name, we must look forward to working hard, showing  skills and winning every opportunity that is presented to us.

J. Robert Oppenheimer, often called the “Father of the Atomic Bomb” was an American physicist best known for his contribution in the Manhattan project - the project responsible for developing the nuclear bomb, a weapon of mass destruction. The man who created the weapon capable of destroying entire nations was haunted by it all throughout his life. He was born and raised in Manhattan, New York to a Jewish family. He attended Harvard University as a chemistry major, however he studied physics, literature and philosophy. After graduating from Harvard, he taught as a physics teacher at University of California.

He had been researching nuclear fission - a powerful reaction caused by splitting of two atoms releasing a lot of energy. The best element for fission was uranium (U). When an unstable uranium atom is collided with another atom, a chain reaction occurs, splitting the atom apart and ultimately releasing a huge amount of energy. Another element, plutonium(Pu), is also highly fissionable, so the first atomic bomb was made using this element. The first plutonium bomb was detonated on July 16, 1945. “We knew the world would not be the same. A few people laughed, a few people cried. Most people were silent. I remembered the line from the Hindu scripture, the Bhagavad Gita; “Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds. I suppose we all thought that, one way or another.”, said Oppenheimer. The following month, two atomic bombs were dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki in Japan resulting in the deaths of thousands. After Japan surrendered ending the Second World War, Oppenheimer expressed guilt for developing such a weapon of mass destruction. However, he criticized the state and government for the misuse of such dangerous weapons. In 1953, the government suspected Oppenheimer of being a communist spy after having an affair with an American Communist Party member- Jean Tatlock. Oppenheimer was accused of being a Soviet spy initially in 1949 after the Soviet Union successfully conducted a nuclear bomb test. A hearing was followed in 1954 focusing on Oppenheimer's past communist ties and his relationship with communist scientists during the Manhattan Project. Though he had never been a communist himself, his case was heard and his security clearance was revoked meaning he could no longer access any confidential information or enter any restricted areas. Edward Teller, commonly known as “The father of the hydrogen bomb” testified on behalf of the government after Oppenheimer opposed the idea of developing a hydrogen bomb- a bomb thousand times more powerful than the atomic bomb. 
Oppenheimer thought it was unnecessary to have a more powerful weapon that could wipe out the human race. Teller was later criticized by many for his testimony. Oppenheimer spent his last years living a quiet life in New Jersey. When President John F. Kennedy offered him a new trial to get his security clearance back, he declined. He was diagnosed with throat cancer in 1965 and died on February 18, 1967 at the age of 62. His development of the atomic bomb not only haunted him, but it continues to haunt all of us. Today, a nuclear bomb could be dropped on any country at any time, and there is no one to stop it.

References:

1. “THE GRIM LIFE OF THE MAN WHO CREATED THE ATOMIC BOMB”, OPPENHEIMER'S GEMS AND GERMS, OPPENHEIMER'S AGONIZING GOODBYES, OPPENHEIMER'S COMMUNIST TIME BOMB, no.1, Jan 23, 2023. The Grim Life of the Man who created the Atomic Bomb
2. “Bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki”, The Manhattan Project, No Surrender for the Japanese, 'Little Boy' and 'Fat Man' Are Dropped, Aftermath of the Bombing, no.1, April 18, 2023. Bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki
3. “The Manhattan Project and the Invention of the Atomic Bomb”, The Project, German Competition, Development of the Bomb, Trinity Test, Reactions, no.1, Nov 22, 2019. The Manhattan Project and the Invention of the Atomic Bomb

एक गाउँमा तीन जनाको परिवार बस्थे । उनीहरू मध्यम वर्गीय परिवार थिए । तिनीहरूको एक सन्तान छोरी थिइन् । उनी अति मेहनती थिइन् । एक दिन उनले विद्यालयमा वादविवाद प्रतियोगिता जितिन् । बुबाले वाचा गरेअनुसार उनले उनलाई रेष्टुरेन्टमा लगे ।

उनीहरू होटल पुगे । एक किसानको रूपमा उसलाई त्यो होटेलमा जान साँच्चै गाह्रो थियो। जब तिनीहरू आफ्नो सिटमा बसे, उसले आफ्नी छोरीका लागि केवल एक प्लेट मिठाई अर्डर गरे । तिनीहरूले केही बेर होटल वरिपरि हेरे। चाँडै तिनीहरूको मिठाईको थाली आइपुग्यो । वेटरले उसलाई अरू केही माग्यो तर उसले मानेन । उनकी छोरीले वादविवाद प्रतियोगिता जितेकाले उनलाई उनीप्रति गर्व थियाे । त्यसैकाे  उपहारस्वरूप उनलाई मिठाई ख्वाउन ल्याएका थिए  । बाबुले वेटरलाई आफ्नो सङ्घर्षबारे बताए ।

कसरी उनले आफ्नी छोरीलाई यो उपहारको लागि आफ्नाे कामकाे दस दिनको पैसा जम्मा गरे । पैसाको लागि जति सङ्घर्ष गरे पनि छोरीलाई खुसी देख्न चाहन्थे । छोरीले बडाे स्वादले मिठाई खाँदै गर्दा ऊ होटेल वरिपरि घुमिरह्यो । उनी मिठाईको बिलको बारेमा चिन्तित थिए । किनभने उनले महँगो बिल तिर्नुपर्ने थियाे ।  वेटरलाई नराम्रो लाग्यो किनकि उनले पहिले नै धेरै सङ्घर्ष गरिरहेका थिए र छोरीको खुसीका लागि उनले धेरै  कुरा त्याग गरेका थिए । त्यो कुरा बताउन वेटर  मालिककहाँ गयो ।  वेटर भएकोले उसलाई केही दिने अधिकार थिएन । त्यसैले उसले आफ्नो मालिकलाई सबै कुरा बतायाे । उनीसँग मिठाई आफैँ दिनुको विकल्प थिएन तर उनकाे परिवारलाई मद्दत गर्न र कम्तीमा एक पटक खुसी पार्न चाहन्थे । यो तिनीहरूका लागि व्यापारमा घाटा हुन सक्छ । तिनीहरू चाहन्थे कि बच्चाले सधैँ आफ्नो जीवनमा राम्रो काम गरोस् । केही बेर छलफल गरेपछि वेटर र होटल मालिक अनुहारमा मुस्कान लिएर फर्के । जुन कुरा बाबुका लागि एउटा ठुलाे राहत थियाे । बाबुले यताउता हेरिरहेका थिए । छोरीको अनुहारमा मुस्कान देखेर बुबा धेरै खुसी भए । मालिक उनीहरूलाई भेटेपछि ऊ सुरुमा छक्क पर्यो । तिनीहरूले छोरीलाई बधाई पनि दिए ।  किसान साँच्चै खसीले गदगद भए ।कसैले आफ्नी छोरीकाे यस्ताे राम्राे  प्रशंसा गरेकामा । उनकी छोरी उनको एक मात्र आशा थिई । तिनीहरूले उनलाई आफ्नो तर्फबाट उपहार स्वरूप  मिठाईको प्लेट दिए ।। सुरुमा उनी मिठाई लिन हिचकिचाइन् । अरूले पनि आफूप्रति गर्व गरेकोले उनी खुसी भइन् र भविष्यमा पनि आफ्नो यो महान् कार्यलाई निरन्तरता दिने कुरा सुनाइन् । आफ्ना  बुबालाई सबैभन्दा खुसी बनाउने कुरा गरिन् ।

उसले ती मिठाईहरू घरमा आफ्नी श्रीमतीको लागि प्याक गर्न चाहन्थे तर मालिकले उसलाई रोके । उनकी श्रीमतीको लागि पनि अर्काे एक प्याकेट दिए । केही समयपछि उनीहरू अनुहारमा खुसी लिएर  घर फर्के । उनीहरूले होटलमा भएको सबै कुरा घरमा गरे । उनकी श्रीमती पनि खुसी भइन् । यस्ताे मिहिनेत र सफलताका लागि तिनीहरूले आफ्नी छाेरीकाे प्रशंसा गरे ।

यो संसारमा जन्मेका सबैको जीवन सरल हुँदैन । जीवन अनाैठाे छ, कोही मानिस धनी परिवारमा जन्मेर हाँसीखुसी जीवन बिताउन सक्छन् भने कोही मानिस गरिब परिवारमा जन्मेर दु:खको जीवन बिताउनुपर्छ । साेचे र चाहेजस्ताे जीवन बिताउने मानिस सायद कमै हाेलान् । 

नेपालको एक दुर्गम जिल्लामा जन्मेका राकेशको जीवन पनि त्यस्तै थियो । बाल्यकालदेखि नै उसको जीवन कहिले सजिलो भएन । उनलाई घरमा दुर्व्यवहार गर्ने बुबाले, रक्सी खाएर आफ्नी सानी बहिनीलाई पिटेको देख्दा उसको आँखा कहिले पनि रसाउन छाेडेनन् । आमा आफ्नो दुई बच्चाहरूको हेरचाह गर्नुका साथसाथै अरूको घरमा गई भाडा माझ्ने र लुगा धुने काम पनि गर्थिन् । बुबा भने आमाले जम्मा गर्नु भएको पैसा चोरेर रक्सी किनेर खान्थे । यस्तो परिदृश्य देख्दा राकेशलाई आफ्नै बुबा माथि हात हाल्नु मन लाग्थ्यो । तर, उसले यस्तो गर्ने कहिले आँट राखेन ।

एक, दुई वर्ष बित्यो । राकेशको बुबाको लिभरमा खराबी देखिन थाल्यो । केही हप्तामा नै राकेशका बुबा थला परे । उनको रक्सी खाने बानीले उनको ज्यान नै लियो । बुबाको निधन भएपछि घरमा पैसा आउने भयो भन्ने सोच उसले राखेको थियो तर उसले सोचेको झैँ भएन । उसको बुबा बितेको केही महिना पछि नै उसको आमाको पनि निधन भयो । ऊ आफू र आफ्नी सानी बहिनीलाई लिएर कँहा जाने भन्ने सोचमा डुबिरह्यो । धेरै नातेदारहरू पनि नभएको, पैसाको पनि कमी, डेराको पनि पैसा तिर्नु पर्ने । उसले बहिनीलाई लिएर डेरा गरी बस्ने साेच बनायाे । डेराको मालिकले पनि केही हप्तासम्म मात्र बस्न दिने र त्यो समय भित्र पैसा तिरेन भने घरबाट निकाली दिने भनेर चेतावनी दिए । उसलाई आफ्नोभन्दा पनि आफ्नी सानी  बहिनीको धेरै चिन्ता थियो । सानो उमेरमा यस्तो अवस्था आईपर्दा उसको दिमागमा कस्तो असर पर्ने होला भन्ने उसको चिन्ता थियो । यद्यपि, उसले गाँउमा अरूको लागी काम गर्न थाल्यो । गाईवस्तु चराउने, भाडा माझ्ने, लुगा धुनेजस्ता काम गर्दै उसले आफ्नो जीवनयापन गर्न थाल्यो । यसबाट धेरै पैसा नआए पनि उसले यसरी नै जीवन बिताइ रहेको थियो । 
एक दिन, एउटा विदेशीले उसको दुःख र गरिबी देखेर उसलाई एउटा काम प्रस्ताव गर्यो । विदेशीले अङ्ग्रेजीमा ‘वुड यु लाइक टु वर्क आज ए स्पाई?’ भनेर सोध्यो । धेरै अङ्ग्रेजी नबुझ्ने राकेशले ‘ओके’ भन्यो । उसलाई थाहा थिएन, उसलाई जासुसीको काम दिइएको थियो । त्यो विदेशीले राकेश र उसको बहिनीलाई काठमाडौँ ल्याएर एउटा सानो फल्याट दियो र राकेशलाई जासुसको रूपमा काम गर भन्यो । उसले ठूला ठूला कर्पोरेट अफिसहरूमा जासुसी गरेर जानकारी सङ्कलन गर्नुपर्थ्यो । सुरुमा ऊ हिचकिचायो, तर त्यो विदेशीले उसको बहिनीलाई मार्ने धम्की दियो । यो सुनेपछि, उसको मुख रातो भयो तर पैसाको कमीको कारण ऊ त्यो काम गर्न राजी भयो । केही वर्ष काम गरेपछि, ऊ आफ्नो काममा माहिर भयो । उसले राम्रो पैसा पनि कमाई रहेको थियो । बस्नलाई फल्याट पनि थियो । सबै कुरा राम्रो थियो तर, राकेशलाई यो पैसा कमाउने उचित तरिका होइन भन्ने लाग्यो । उसले आफ्नो काम छोड्ने निर्णय गर्यो तर , विदेशीले उसले आफ्नो काम छोड्यो भने उसकी बहिनीलाई भारतमा बेचिदिने भन्यो । राकेश रिसले चुर भयो । त्यो विदेशीले उसलाई कर्पोरेट अफिसमा जासुसी गर्न लगाएको कुरा भनिदिन्छु भन्दै विदेशीलाई धम्कायो । यद्यपी, १३ वर्षको उमेरमा राकेशकी बहिनीलाई भारतमा बेचियो । राकेशले विदेशीको नराम्रो कामबारे अरूलाई सूचना दिन खोज्यो । तर एउटा गाउँलेको कुरा कसले सुन्थ्यो र ! विदेशीको कुरा साचो र राकेशको कुरा झुटो भन्दै सबैले भन्न थाले । विदेशीले राकेशले कर्पोरेट अफिसहरूमा जासुसी गरेको भन्दै कुरा निकाल्यो । राकेशले केही पनि भन्न नपाई नै राकेशलाई जेलमा हालियो । कस्तो अन्यायपूर्ण समाजमा बस्छौँ हामी, विदेशीले भनेको सबै सही र गाउँलेले भनेको गलत मान्यता राख्छौँ । हाम्रो समाज र देश कता जाँदै छ , यो प्रश्न कहिलेसम्म ?

I am Ram, a regular high school kid with no friends. My mom had told me to buy some groceries and when I was exiting the grocery store, I saw two guys with a gun trying to rob the place. Two girls came out running towards me. The robber pointed the gun at those girls, I ran after them and that guy shot me. I practically thought I was dead until I saw a bright  light coming to me. Then I woke up in a whole new world.

I was surprised, I was at my school desk and then suddenly the class representative showed up! I got to know that she was checking home assignments and I showed her my work and she was pleased. Then she checked the work of my bench mate, his name was Suvash Rana. Unfortunately, he had not done his work, so the class representative told the teacher. I don’t know why but the teacher was not angry with Suvash but with the class representative and later on she was punished. She was locked up in the dark room. I was in deep shock when later on I found that the rana regime had not ended in Nepal. I recalled my memories when I was shot and when I was sent to this world. Then when I was thinking about all this, Suvash called me, “Ram, are you all right?” in his usual kind and soft tone. I was scared of him, and then he spoke to me, “Please not you! Don’t be scared of me, you were the one who told me all this is going to end!” I was very pleased to hear that from him. After the class ended. I asked him, “Was that our last class?” he answered “Yes!” We then packed our bags and headed home. Nothing happened to my parents, I was not so surprised because both my parents were the cleverest people I’ve known.

The next day I found out that the class representative was still locked in that room. Suvash seemed to feel extremely guilty, I could see it on his face. Suddenly an idea popped into my mind and I told Suvash. Then I applied it right away, I took my lunch in my pocket and tore up my homework and when the vice class representative was checking it, I acted suspicious and I too was in the dark room with Sita, our class representative. When I entered the room I found out that she was crying. She shouted, “Don’t look at me!'' Then I saw her covered with bruises. I couldn’t do anything but I gave her my lunch, she refused but still I insisted since I knew she was hungry as she hadn’t eaten since yesterday. She devoured the food and then she told me, “You have changed, you never used to put your nose in anyone’s business but you now saved me from hunger.” Hearing that I started to hate myself and made a vow not to be cruel hearted. Later that day we, including Suvash, concluded that we should raise our voices against the Ranas by using the means of technology. How? We didn’t know! Then Sita came up with the solution of declaring Suvash’s kidnapping, the son of the major colonel of the Rana military. I told my parents about it, they supported me the best and gave me the idea that Suvash should be staying in our garage. Not only that but they suggested Sita to join us too. But I was not convinced because I was worried that her parents might not agree. Then suddenly she replied with a cold answer, “They wouldn’t care! But I will call them.” Then there was an awkward pause between me and my parents. She called her mom, they agreed and started to help my mom and dad to cook. While me and Suvash were getting the mattress for him. One week had passed and the search for Suvash had already started since the first day we declared his kidnapping.

On the eighth day nothing was unusual, until a false alarm of the police force and the marching of the army had come in the evening. Suvash had just got out of the bathroom then he panicked seeing us, Sita ran to save him. Suvash's dad pointed the gun at Sita, I ran and took a shot to my head. I looked at the time, it was the exact same time the robber had shot me. Suddenly I woke up. I asked the person beside me, “Where am I?” I found out I was in the real world in the hospital and the nurse ran to call my parents and the doctor. Mom was crying and saying, “My poor little boy” then my dad told me my friends were waiting for me. I asked, “Who are waiting for me, could you please repeat it?” Sita and Suvash came running for me, crying. “Us, you idiot!” scolded Sita. I found out I was in a coma for two hours and that I was almost dead. Then I assumed that god must be crazy.

थियो पानी आकाशबाट मुसलधारे 
यो  थियो वर्षाकाे समय 
कालो रातले पछ्याइएको सडक
र त्यसपछिको घटनाहरू

भारी वर्षा, दुःखदायी जीवन
लगभग बाढी निम्त्याउँछ, जस्ताे
मानिसहरू आफ्नो ज्यानको लागि डराउँछन्
र आफ्नो सक्दो प्रयास गर्दै हुन्छन्,
बाँच र बचाऊ ।

पानीले उनीहरूको घर बगाउँछ
जस्तै केही छैन, खाली जीवन
र तिनीहरू पनि यसको साथ बग्छन्
डर सत्य भयो र हरायाे ।

सबैले त्यो रातको बारेमा सोच्छन्
यसले कसरी विपत्ति निम्त्यायो
मानिसहरू अझै डराउँछन्
सम्झना त्याे कालाे रातकाे ।

समयसँगै बिस्तारै, हराउँदै
तिनीहरूले यसको बारेमा बिर्सन्छन्,
तिनीहरू आफ्नो जीवनलाई जारी राख्छन्
र विपत्तिले चियाइरहन्छ ।

Humans evolve with emotions. They get happy, sad, angry, frustrated, dissatisfied and many more. Our emotions are our humanity. We feel, we perceive, we take out, we let go, we give, we take, we regret, and we make mistakes, all these acts make up our life. Without humans doing these activities, we would be like a rock in the middle of an endless plain. Life wouldn’t exist or maybe we wouldn’t live. The point I’m trying to make here is, human lives are like cars and our emotions are the fuel. Without our emotions, we wouldn’t want to do anything. We would be like something that stays where it exists. But fortunately, humans have emotions, plenty in fact.

Right after our brains develop as we are in the stage of a fetus, we start developing emotions such as  happiness, sadness, anger and fear. After we are born, I feel happy and I smile and laugh to show that smiling or laughing is an activity. I feel angry, I will scream and shout, destroy things or hit others, screaming, shouting and destroying are activities. If I feel curious I would want to discover things, discovering is an emotion. I like a person and want to know them better so I go talk to them, talking to others is an activity. If I feel sympathy for a person struggling and I help them, helping others is an activity. Any and every activity performed by humans is linked to their emotions. And human lives are created from a mass collection of activities. Every memory we ever remember is of us doing some activity while feeling some type of emotion. So, life basically is a term describing all the activities we did during the time we lived and all the things we felt while doing them.

But what if I were to tell you that none of it really matters? 
It’s a beautiful sunny but breezy day. The weather feels very tropical. You look out the window of your house and see a beautiful sunflower growing in the field and the sunflower sways with the wind. You observe the sunflower and think the flower looks really pretty. What you just observed, from that point of view, from that place, during that exact time and place will never be observed by another human ever again. What we see, observe and feel in our perspective in that exact place and time will never be experienced by another. So, do our experiences, our feelings and our being really matter? Because whatever we did in our lives, whatever we have felt and observed till this point, no matter how many different words and ways we try to explain it to others they will never truly understand what we are trying to express. So, no matter how close you are to your partner, they will never know you to the point where you know yourself. Isn’t it crazy knowing the fact that no one will ever feel about you the same way you feel about yourself? So, why do we struggle with pleasing other people? Why do we care about what they do or feel? Why do we hate some and love others? Why do we do things for others? Because simply, whatever we do we will never understand others fully and neither will they. No matter how many years you spent with your partner, no matter how nearly related you were with your partner after you die, they will shed a few tears, they will be in a bad mental state for some time but eventually, they will move on with their lives continuing the cycle of emotions and activities. And all that will be left of you are memories. After you die, all that you did in your life, all that you discovered about yourself and others and all the things that you did that you regretted or loved wouldn’t really matter. Even your children would only have memories left of you and in a few hundred years you will be completely forgotten or only your name and some memories will live. Even if you are a famous person who made an impact on the world, many people will remember your name and some things that you did in your life, but no one will ever truly know the life you lived or your existence.

So, you should never be shy to try new things, make social interactions, create experiences, and discover yourself because in maybe a 1000 years no one will remember a single thing about you.

समय कहिल्यै फर्किएर आएन
मैले यसलाई धेरै माया गरेँ
तर, यसले कहिल्यै मलाई धाएन
मलाई सम्झेर पनि कहिल्यै आएन ।

समयले हामीलाई बालक बनायाे, 
बालकबाटै जवान बनायाे,
जवानबाटै बुढाे बनाउँदै छ  ।
हामी बुढो हुँदैछौँ
हाम्रो क्षमता पनि हाम्रो उमेरसँगै
बुढाे हुँदै छ, हाम्राे जीवन पनि ।

समयलाई जान नदिनू त्यसै
बरू समयसँग अगाडि बढ्नू
उसकै सहारा लिनू
उसैलाई पछ्याएर हिँड्नू ।

सुन्नुस् है ! समयले मलाई जस्तै 
तपाईंलाई पनि कहिल्यै पर्खिने छैन
त्यसैले समयअनुसार अघि बढाैँ
आफ्नो समय व्यवस्थापन गर्नू
समयकै भर पर्नू ।

तपाईंले आफ्नो लागि गर्नू
कसैले कसैको लागि गरेकै छैन 
अरूकाे खल्ती भरेकै छैन
के तपाईं पनि समयजस्तै 
स्वार्थी नै बन्नुहुन्छ त ?

The placid pattern of darkness hits
Realizing you are all alone
You do are nostalgic and keep going back
The way you promised you never would.

Embellish the familiar feeling 
Its coming back you know it
Not even half past 10 you're done
Those innocent eyes are glistening.

Those shedded tears define it
Wondering and  being nostalgic
You did move on but still have it
Have it with you in the back of your mind.

Life  is a losing game you think
Closing your eyes you realize it's peaceful
And wonder if you can close it forever 
And to be gone forever.

Vision blurred by your eyes
You look terrible crying my love
You do remind yourself , try to avoid it
To once again hear the soft refrain.

Wanting to hold it forever and keep it
Do realize you got friends , you still feel lonely
Cuz the missing part your real home
You are missing it and far away from it.

Doing things you shouldn't do
And at the end you have no clue about it
You keep the side to yourself
Try to regain the joy.

The endless night somehow comes to an end
Looking as beautiful and innocent 
Reminding yourself the worth.

The world is big. There is no end to the world we live in and in this world full of lies and class the only person who is going to be there and has always been there for you is you. What I mean by that is if the world turned their back on us, the only one there for us is us. Hence, we need to accept ourselves. So what is self acceptance? It is the act of accepting yourself no matter how you look or how you are. But the question arises do people really accept themselves as how they are? Sadly the answer to this question is no. Seeing billions of people posting themselves, showcasing their picture perfect life but the reality is not so. Many people do go through a phase of loving themselves or they do it just for “attention”. As time passes people forget to accept themselves for who they are. Use of social media is increasing which has started spreading so called trends.

People work on themselves to make them look like the trend. Luxury life, amazing lifestyle, pretty face, slim body structure is what everyone wants nowadays because it is the current ‘trend’. No matter how much we try to make ourselves look better based on those trends, social media, all we are going to do is make ourselves look like a fool. Majority of the time we tend to go with the trend and change ourselves to fit the trends. However, trends are ever changing. The only thing we need to change is our perspective of ourselves and be accepting of who we are. Working out, spending money on skincare and all that will make a difference but in the end we would not succeed at being like that picture, we should do it because we want to do it, for ourselves instead of feeling pressured to fit into the “trend”. Envying people and thinking you aren’t enough is going to make you feel worse, the only way we can get rid of that is to accept our realities and stop envying others. As humans we all function differently and we all have different lives and people in it, all of us are beautiful in our own ways and that is what makes us unique. Self acceptance helps you with mental health too. We can basically say that self acceptance is the key to maintaining mental health. A lot of people who have gone through a breakup have 100% thought that there is something wrong with them so the relationship did not work. It can be anything, looks or behavior and take the blame for it. They even work on completely changing themselves but is that what makes them happy? Will you be happy to change yourself, change who you are? Absolutely not. People always try to hide themselves if they do not love themselves which will lead to exhaustion which may later cause various difficulties. We all should start accepting our flaws no matter what. They are what makes us uniquely “us”.

मेरो घर प्रदेश तीनको दोलखा जिल्लामा पर्छ । म त्यहाँ चाडपर्वको बेलामा जाने गर्छु । त्यहाँ मेरी हजुरआमा, ठुलोबुवा, ठुलीआमा, भाइ र दिदीहरू बस्नुहुन्छ । कहिलेकाहीँ मात्र जाने भए तापनि मलाई आफ्नो घर असाय्ध्यै प्यारो लाग्छ । यो ठाउँमा मेरो घर भएर मात्र होइन यहाँको सुन्दरताले गर्दा पनि प्यारो लाग्छ ।  दोलखा जिल्ला गौरीशङ्कर, चोयु र रोल्वालिङ हिमालको काखमा रहेको पहाडैपहाड र खोला र झरनाले भरिएको एक सुन्दर गाउँ हो । काठमाडौँबाट बनेपा, धुलिखेल, पाँचखाल, खाडीचौर, ठुलो पाखर, मुडे, खरीढुङ्गा, बोच, चरङ्गे, चरिकोट हुँदै दोलखा पुग्न सकिन्छ ।  काठमाडौँबाट करिब १३३ किमी पूर्वमा पर्ने यो ठाउँमा कैयौ छाँगा, छहरा, पहाड, खोलानाला र मठमन्दिरहरू छन् । यहाँ च्छो-रोल्पा ताल अनि भोर्ले, चरङ्गे, कुथली, थाँगने, घट्टे, कलाघरी, हात्तीचरा र सुन्द्रावतीजस्ता झरनाहरू छन् । तामाकोसी खोला पनि दोलखाबाटै बगेको हो । यहाँका पर्यटकीय स्थलहरूमा जिरी, कालिन्चोक, गौरीशङ्कर हिमाल, च्छो-रोल्पा ताल, दोलखा भीमसेन, त्रिपुरा सुन्दरी, कालिनाग मन्दिर, कालिका मन्दिर, देउराली भ्यु टावरजस्ता रमणीय ठाउँहरू पर्दछन् ।

नेपालकै महत्त्वपूर्ण मन्दिर मानिने दोलखा भीमसेन मन्दिर पनि दोलखामै पर्छ । यो मन्दिर भीमेश्वर नगरपालिकामा अवस्थित छ । मलाई अत्यन्त गर्व लाग्छ, किनकि यो मन्दिर मेरो घरबाट ९ किमी टाढा छ र म गाडी चढेर २० मिनेटमा पुग्न सक्छु । यहाँका स्थानीय बासिन्दाकाअनुसार यो मन्दिर पाँच पाण्डवमध्येका दोस्रो भाइ भीमसेनले बर्षौँसम्म तपस्या गरेर बसेको ठाउँ हो । यो मन्दिरमा धेरै पर्यटकहरू आउँछन्, अझ दसैँको बेला त खुट्टा टेक्ने ठाउँ पनि हुँदैन । खास गरी नेवार समुदायले अत्यन्तै मान्ने  र दर्शन गर्न आउने गर्छन् । यो मन्दिरको बारेमा मैले बच्चै देखि मेरो हजुरआमा र बुवाको मुखबाट सुन्दै आएको किंम्वदन्ती छ । उहाँहरूले भनेअनुसार धेरै पहिले भरियाहरू यो ठाउँमा थकाई मार्न आएका थिए रे । त्यहाँ खाना पकाउन आगो बाल्न तिनीहरूले तीनओटा ढुङ्गा ल्याएछन् रे । तर एउटा ढुङ्गा चाहिँ जति गरे पनि सिधा अडिरहेको थिएन रे । धेरै प्रयास गरेर पनि त्यो ढुङ्गा नअडिए पछि एक भरियाले त्यस ढुङ्गालाई खुकुरीले हान्न खोजेछ रे । हान्दा खेरी त्यो ढुङ्गाबाट रगत निस्केछ रे । त्यही तीनकुने आकारको ढुङ्गालाई हामीले अहिले भीमसेनको रूपमा पूजा गर्छौँ। यो मन्दिरको अर्को विशेषता भनेको यहाँ मन्दिरलाई कुनै पनि छाना र गजुरले ढाकिएको छैन । यहाँ एउटा नगडा भन्ने बाजा पनि छ जुन केटी मान्छेले छुन हुँदैन र विशेष चाडको र जात्रामा मात्र जोगीले बजाउँछन् ।

दोलखा भीमसेन मन्दिर रहस्यमय पनि छ । बेलाबेलामा मन्दिरभित्रको  मूर्तिबाट पसिना झरिरहन्छ र त्यसरी पसिना आउनु भनेको देशको लागि नराम्रो घटना घट्ने सम्भावना हुन्छ। वि.सं १९९० मा पसिना आउँदा ठुलो भूकम्प आयो । त्यसपछि पसिना आउँदा ४ जना सहिद भए । त्यसपछि पसिना आउँदा त्रिभुवन राजाको निधन भयो । त्यसैगरी २०५८ मा पसिना आउँदा राजपरिवार हत्याकाण्ड भएको थियो । त्यसपछि २०७२ सालको भूकम्प आएको वर्ष अत्यन्तै धेरै पसिना आएको त्यहाँ देख्नेहरू बताउछन् । यो सबै भएको मैले पत्याएको थिएन ।  तर  वि.सं २०७७ मा पसिना आएको कुरा मेरो हजुरआमाले फोन गरेर भन्नु भएको थियो र पछि समाचारमा पनि यो कुरा आयो । त्यसको एक महिनापछि कोरोना महामारी भएपछि मैले साचिकै विश्वास गरे । त्यस्तो हुँदा पूजा सामाग्री गरेर क्षमापूजा गर्ने चलन छ । क्षमापूजाको दिन मानिस हरू टाढाटाढादेखि आएर रोइकराइ गरेर पूजा गर्छन् र पसिना सफा गर्न कपास लिएर आउँछन् र त्यही कपासलाई प्रसादको रूपमा घर लिएर जान्छन् । यही एक कारणले गर्दा पनि यो मन्दिर नेपालकै एक सबैभन्दा महत्वपूर्ण मन्दिरको रूपमा लिइएको पाइन्छ ।

यो मन्दिरका धेरै गुणहरू भए पनि यस मन्दिरको एक विकृति छ । यो मन्दिरमा खसी, बोका, हाँस, कुखुरा आदिको बलि दिइन्छ, त्यसैले गर्दा यहाँ भुइँभरि रगत हुन्छ । टेक्न पनि घिन लाग्ने हुन्छ । यसले गर्दा मानिसहरू घिनाउँछन र विदेशीहरू त अझ झन् घिनाउँछन्। शाकाहारी र वैष्णवहरू त्यहाँ जान त्यति मन गर्दैनन्। त्यसैले बलि दिने ठाउँ छुट्टै बनाउन आवश्यक छ । बलि दिने ठाउँ छुट्टै र पूजा गर्ने ठाउँ छुट्टै भए झन् राम्रो हुन्छ । त्यसो गर्नाले पर्यटक झन् बढ्ने सम्भावना देखिन्छ। दोलखा भीमसेनले सबैको रक्षा गरून्, दोलखा भीमसेन को जय !