Written by: Manaswi Sapkota - 26004, Grade X
Posted on: 02 August, 2023
“You can’t feel this way towards your own family forever," a sharp voice interrupted Jamie’s thoughts. Jamie had been in the living room with her parents, watching the television. The television's sound was drowning as her parents' argument got louder. Even with earphones, her parents' screaming seeped through. She quickly rushed to her room, not wanting to face either one's anger. Just when she entered her room, she could hear her younger sister getting dragged into the argument by her parents. Jamie had no choice but to get involved so that her younger sister wouldn't face her parents' outrage.
This is what a normal day looked like in Jamie's house. Jamie couldn't wait for the day she would have the chance to leave her family behind. The only thing stopping her was the guilt of leaving behind her younger sister. Jamie felt nothing towards her family - she didn't hate them nor love them. She didn't even like or dislike them. She simply felt empty around her family. Jamie had imagined her family getting hurt countless times, and even when imagining that, she didn't feel anything.
Yet, Jamie's family wasn't bad. They were all good people. They did get into a lot of arguments, but all of these arguments were quickly resolved. Her family loved each other; they didn't hit each other, bully each other, or bring each other down. They were always motivating and encouraging each other. Even when being surrounded by such kind people, Jamie couldn't help but feel distant from her family.
At the age of 21, Jamie finally had the opportunity to leave her house. She hoped to find independence and start a new chapter in her life. She wished to be able to reciprocate the same love her family harbored for her. She realized it was essential to be away from her family as she needed to find a new side of herself before loving her family.
Jamie enrolled in college, and weeks passed, but she couldn't let go of the emptiness she felt. She didn't feel this way just towards her family; she felt the same for her friends. She couldn't like them, but she didn't hate them either. She didn't feel any form of immense happiness or sadness when she saw anyone. It was as if Jamie had no emotions for other people.
One day, Jamie met a girl named Maya. Their conversation flowed smoothly, and soon they became best friends. Maya was overflowing with love and happiness. She was easy to get along with. Maya had love not just for people around her but for herself as well. She was brimming with confidence; she was inspirational. Slowly but surely, Maya influenced Jamie. Before, Jamie couldn't see her own worth because she was so hung up on her fault of not being able to love others as much as they loved her. Maya taught Jamie to see herself in a new light, to recognize her own worth. As Jamie's confidence grew, she learned to accept her shortcomings and view them as opportunities for growth.
After 4 years, Jamie returned to her family. She was so immensely happy to see them. She truly cherished and loved them. She had always loved them, but due to her pessimistic personality, she made up flaws about herself as she could never see her true self-worth before Maya came along. Meeting her family after 4 long years was truly a happy moment for both Jamie and her family. They talked for a long time about nonsensical things, they laughed at silly movies, they made dinner together, and in the end, fell asleep together. This is what love is. Everyone loves someone and will continue to find people they love. The ability to look beyond one's own flaws and embrace others freely is what love is.
