Written by: Yojana Gautam - 23068, Grade XII
Posted on: 08 February, 2023
Attachment is very much connected to fear and addiction, and has more to do with loving ourselves than loving others:
No relationship is perfect. No matter how much we want it to be perfect, it will never be perfect- it is always good before it gets bad; it is always easy before it gets hard; and it always feels perfect before it gets real. We would always want to see the best in each other before we could bring the worst out of each other. As the connection gets deeper and the attachment gets stronger, that is exactly when we bring our true selves to our loved ones; we start revealing our dark sides and all the flaws we carry. It is then, when the problems and differences start to settle in. This is where most people give up because it is difficult to handle someone who is completely a different person with different flaws, and perhaps we sometimes fail to understand different opinions and perceptions. It is not about being with someone better or having that perfect relationship, it is all about knowing the value of what we have right in front of us and making it work despite the challenges it could bring. Sure, it feels amazing when two people could get along and of course, it feels miserable when these two people argue; but the beauty is being able to always find our ways back to each other when we are on the verge of losing one another even when the argument was quite massive. So, there might not be such a thing as a perfect relationship, but perhaps, a beautiful one(?)
‘The root of suffering is attachment.’- The Buddha.
Well, loving life around us, people around us, is a natural process and love is a liberating force whereas attachment is an entangling process. We must understand this: attachment does not mean affection, attachment does not mean love, attachment does not mean fondness for somebody; attachment simply means that we are stuck in some situation in such a way that we end up all messy with our obsessions. Bonding, on the other hand, is fine- attachment is bondage. If we choose to bond with every life around us, there should not be any problem; but if we create ‘bondage’ or obsessive attachment, then we are probably destroying ourselves and the possibility of the fundamental longings within us, which is freedom. If we are born in this generation or anywhere, the only goal for us should be to become free; to go beyond all bondages and attachments with the source of creation. Attachment is not a joke- literally we feel physical pain when we miss certain people. But we have to make ourselves free from emotional dependencies and only then, we would be able to achieve the true sense of freedom.
