Written by: Shubham Rimal - 23065, Grade XII
Posted on: 20 December, 2022
Fighting my demons: a daily routine-
It started at twelve, and now I’m eighteen.
I tried to keep it to myself and succeeded-
For I lived afraid of being judged when seen.
I searched for an idol, an inspirator,
Hoping to be free of the dispute in my mind’s equator.
Instead, all I found was a dark empty space,
The further I went in, it seemed to be greater.
But I kept going forward hoping to see the light,
Reflecting on and regretting my past actions and the meaningless fights-
I had with myself trying to live up to expectations.
Only to find out, all I’m trying to do is make it past the night.
It didn’t help me, I mean my anxiety.
It only made it worse, and I kept on enduring quietly.
Started to think I was delusional and lost-
Because I never really experienced the true meaning of satiety.
Oh, I guess I deviated
Almost to talk about finding my idol,
But then my thoughts were mediated-
By doubts, about being judged by the people reading this;
That they’ll see my true self
And then they’ll grow to hate it.
Continuing back in the darkness deep-
In my mind I find a mirror, staring right back at me.
There it was, the truth, that-
Whoever it was that I hoped to be,
In the end it seems that
It was always me…
