Written by: Rushina Tamang - 26008, Grade IX
Posted on: 12 September, 2022
I caught Leukemia last year.
When I heard about the disease, I felt like this was gonna be it. I was gonna die within a year or two.
So, with the time I had left, I thought I could do things that I always wanted to do. Like going to Switzerland as I’ve always wanted to. Fixing relationships with my lost loved ones or doing crazy things that I would never dare to ever do. I never considered my leukemia curing. Well, you can say, we just always have to assume the worst.
Within a few months, my leukemia has gotten worse. I can’t even get out of bed properly. I was admitted to the hospital 2 days ago. Great, now I can’t even complete the things I wanted to do before I died.
Today, I’m getting shifted to a new room. My parents are acting like I’m gonna die. Even the doctors look like, they’ve given up hope for me. I have final chemotherapy in a month. The chances of me surviving are very low. I don’t mind dying. I just want to get rid of this pain. The constant fevers, weakness, and not being able to fully live life. I want it to end already. At this point, dying might be a better option.
The new room looks pretty fun. Colorful, lots of games to play, flowers on vases, cartoons on walls and a bed. I got shifted onto the bed. I’m supposed to stay here until my chemotherapy comes near. I try to stay happy for my parents. I don’t want to make them sad. I try to appreciate the things I receive. But internally I feel like I’ve lost the sense of joy. I’ve forgotten the sense of being happy. I smile but I don’t feel anything.
While my parents went out to get lunch, I kept staring at the ceiling. Feeling empty. Then I hear a click. The door opens. I see a girl walk in.
“Hi. I see that you’re new here. I’m Alysia.” says the girl. Alysia is also one of the Leukemia patients. She has her chemotherapy a week before mine. But in comparison, she is healthier than me. She can laugh, walk and feel joy. She’s like the sun. Shining bright every day.
“I’m Farrah”
“Farrah? That’s a very unique name. Do you know what it means?”
“It means ‘Happy’.”
“Are you always happy then?”
“I can’t quite say that,” I say
“How long have you been here? I’ve been here for 2 weeks. I used to be scared about the hospital but it's not that bad and the kids here are also quite friendly.”
“I’ve been here for 2 days. I have my chemo in a month.”
“I have my chemo in 3 weeks. And I’ve been tasked to keep all the kids here happy since I’m the healthiest. What do you want to do when you get out of here? I want to visit Switzerland. ” She says with a smile on her face.
“How can you be so sure you’ll survive? I’m not even sure I’ll make it till a month.”
“Don’t say that, Have a little hope for yourself and the others. If you don’t hope to survive you won’t. I’m not sure if I’ll survive myself but the least I can do is hope.” she says trying to comfort me.
My mom enters the room. This signals Alysia to leave the room. She greets my mom and says goodbye to me.
Alysia visited me often for the past 2 and ½ weeks. We’ve grown really close. When I’m with her, I can feel joy and happiness. She makes me laugh. She’s like my sun. I don’t want her to go anywhere away from me. I just want her to stay with me. And keep helping me feel alive. But I can’t have her full day. So, when she’s not with me, I think about the things we did that day and smile.
“You know, You’re quite likable, Farah. Did you think about what you want to do when you get out of here?” says Alysia.
I say, “When I get out of here, I want to spend all my time with you. And make jokes and laugh. And I even want to visit Switzerland with you. We can do so many things together. I want to say together with you, always.”
She looks at me a little shocked. She stutters while she speaks, “You really want to spend your life with me?”
For the first time, I feel butterflies in my stomach. I responded without hesitating, “Yes.”
She then makes up an excuse, her whole face red and leaves the room.
I keep thinking about what just happened, and all the moments we had together. I can’t stop thinking about her. I think I just had my first crush.
The next day, she comes back to tell me this will be the final day she visits me. She has her chemo in 5 days. And if she didn’t survive the chemo, she wanted to say her final goodbyes to me. She brought me a small locket shaped like a heart. She said, “Farah, you really do bring happiness in people’s lives just like your name. You are happy. If I don’t make it through the chemo, will you live the best life you can for me if you survive? Even if I don’t survive, don’t ever lose hope. Because I know you’ll achieve something great in life. And if we both make it, we can do everything you said before. We can spend the rest of our lives together. ” Then, she moves towards the door. I had no words to say, I didn’t know what to say. She runs back and gives me a kiss on the lips and runs out the door.
I feel my face heating up. I feel my face getting red. All night I think to myself about the things Alysia and I’ll do together when we get out of here.”
It’s been a week since then. I guess Alysia’s had her chemo by now. I can’t wait to meet her. I have my own chemo in 4 days. After we’ve both recovered, we had promised to meet at Lake Dora on the deck after two months of my chemo.
After two months, I will go to lake Dora.
I found Alysia’s mom there. I asked her where Alysia was. She hands me a letter, wishes good for me ahead, hands me the location of some place and leaves crying.
The letter read,
Dear Farrah,
You are the most beautiful girl I have ever met. You are beautiful in every aspect. You are the kindest, most caring and funniest person. You really did bring happiness to my life. I’m about to die in a few hours. I wanted to write this letter as a last goodbye. I can’t write much since my hand doesn’t have much strength. But, I just want to tell you, Never give up hope. And keep living the best life you can for me, for us. And even though we promised to meet at the lake, sadly, I won't be coming. I am so sorry Farrah. I’ll always love you.
Love,
Alysia.
I stand there with the letter in my hands and feel a tear rolling down my cheek. I guess she’s not coming today.
