Written by: Jiya Sapkota - 25003, Grade X
Posted on: 26 August, 2022
“A face that awakes when I close my eyes, A face watches every time I lie, A face watches every time I fall”, were the exact group of words I heard before I passed out. After waking up, I realized that I had been unconscious for a couple of minutes. I get too stressed out sometimes and I find myself getting anxious about it and I faint. This thing has happened 5 times this week and I blame myself for it. Every time I am doing my assignments and all my body alarms me to not forget about everything that has happened in my life. But what made me anxious today was the word “death”. Never had I experienced something like this in my life. I felt like the word was trying to tell me that something bad is going to happen tomorrow. I can not keep myself in a similar state for even an hour, especially with so much workload. The only thing that calms me down is music, music is like my everything. People often question me about the kind of music I listen to and they do not expect my answer, some people jump out of excitement after learning and some just reply “oh? You look too feminine to listen to THAT kind of music”. I mean do I really have to listen to something that matches my appearance? People have preferences. Plus, you like what you like. Do we really need to clarify?
I am only talkative with the people I am close with, and every time while starting a conversation with someone new, I usually pull out the “Oh I’m from Asia” card. It is fun. Because they start to get curious and ask me literally everything. I almost every time tell about how homesick I am. Leaving my own country immediately after turning 18 was the hardest thing. I have always been ambitious so I really thought it was going to be fine. Leaving the place you grew up in is one of the hardest chapters of one's life is something I realized just a few weeks before my flight to the UK from Nepal. As the day of flight grew near, the nervousness of me leaving grew. And now, It has been 2 years since I left Nepal. I am 20 but I am turning 21 in a few weeks.
After an hour or so, Saige came to pick me up for a freshen-up ride. Saige is my best friend whom I trust with my whole heart. But the funny fact is that we both met on a date. We were together for quite a while but realized that we were better off as friends and that was the best decision ever. She is literally a part of my life I can never imagine losing. Long after the ride, I realized that I had to iron my shirt for the first day at work. I decided to work part time as I am in a huge need of money. I left my previous part time job and joined this due to financial instability. A cashier at a renowned office seems tough but I know for a fact that I can definitely pull off.
After reaching the office, I was led to a small room for the cashier. But I learned that I was not the ONLY cashier there and so later a rude looking man who looked like my age entered the room. Staring at me for quite a minute, the man finally spoke out saying “I thought I was the only one”. I wanted to blurt out “same” but I just flashed him a small smile and turned back into the music I was listening to. I actually had no job on the first day though. Not that I wanted to notice, but I somehow noticed that his facial features matched with someone I met a few years back. I noticed that his name was Arthur. Although he seemed rude and arrogant, when we started talking I felt like he was the most fun person to be around. Like the friend who seems serious but is actually fun? He was attractive, I can’t deny but him having similar music taste as mine made him even more attractive. After knowing so, he even insisted on playing music directly from the computer, rather than plugging in headphones. I was still inside the room, the music still on, I was minding my own business when I heard the same lyrics I heard yesterday, before passing out. “A face that awakes when I close my eyes, A face watches every time I lie, A face watches every time I fall”. My body panicked and then it hit me…
